You think you're in control, but with so many friends, it's hard to stay private, warns Becky Hogge

Some months ago, I had the pleasure of addressing an assembly of sixth-formers from a prestigious independent school. My chosen topic was "privacy online", and a few hours before the talk I had a brainwave. Going to the social networking site Bebo, I plugged the name of the school into the search box. I was immediately presented with profiles of about a dozen 17- and 18-year-olds who professed to attend the school.

Giving the lecture was one of the most intimidating things I have ever done. New Statesman readers may be easily impressed by a little technical know-how, but to these guys, the networked communications environment - the only one they have ever known - is as boring as bread and butter. Faced with 200 digital natives, you need to know your stuff. And so, when I delivered the immortal line "Since I've told you a little about me, I thought it would be nice to find out a little bit more about you", I was feeling pretty nervous.

The reaction to my party trick was unexpected. As I flashed screen grabs of their Bebo profiles on the 10ft screen behind me, small clusters of teenagers in the assembly hall erupted. But, rather than be appalled that a complete stranger had accessed details of their private lives, it was almost as if, there in that room, I had given them a taste of fame. The cries of embarrassment and delight were reminiscent of many audiences when told to "come on down".

I suppose I shouldn't have been surprised that, in a culture which celebrates celebrity as much as ours, we are raising a generation to relish infamy. When I asked for a show of hands of who regretted having put something about themselves online for public view, only one hand went up.

The message from most was clear - they were publishing only stuff they didn't mind other people seeing. What's more, as with the politicians and stars they read about in magazines, these people, not yet out of their teens, were diligently managing their public profiles - "spinning" their lives for the crowd.

It's not just those shy of 20 who are in denial about the potential downside. I've noticed that, whenever I have a chat with colleagues and friends about the terrible privacy implications of social networks, they friend me afterwards on my social network of choice, Facebook. This doesn't work quite like Bebo, as your full profile is available only to those people you've agreed are your "friends". But the trouble starts when, as in my case, you can't say no to anyone, and you end up with more than 130 friends.

Your work colleagues, not to mention the half-dozen or so sixth-form students who friend you after you come to speak at their school, then start mixing with the people with whom you grew up. And, in a situation like that, managing your public profile becomes more than a little tricky.

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