1. Heaven sent
An Indian goddess living in a remote jungle temple was revealed to be Steve Cooper from Tooting. The Londoner left for India after friends told him he was the spit of Bahucharaji, patron of eunuchs. He now spends his days blessing pilgrims. "I don't miss Tooting at all," Cooper said.
2. Haute dog
Chicago's department of public health fined a hot-dog vendor $250 for serving foie gras. Doug Sohn is the first to be fined since the city council banned foie gras, claiming the way it is produced is cruel to animals. Sohn admitted he was poking fun at the edict.
3. Identity crisis
Italy has acquired an official language: Italian. The country's parliament voted to add the sentence, "The Italian language is the official language of the Republic", to the constitution. Seventy-five MPs voted against.
4. Gutted
A Yorkshireman returned home from holiday to discover that burglars had stolen his entire kitchen, including the sink. The diligent thieves removed all appliances and fittings.
5. Swansong
A swan has been reunited with its great love - a swan-shaped pedal boat. Petra, a rare black swan, refused to migrate last winter because the pedal boat couldn't join her; a local zoo took her in to stop her freezing from cold. Now the pair are back together on the German lake where they met.
