George Galloway is far from gorgeous as a presenter

It seems that George Galloway will definitely not be putting himself up for re-election as MP for Bethnal Green and Bow - although, according to an aide, he may still stand in nearby Poplar, the constituency of his enemy Jim Fitzpatrick, a junior minister who once described Galloway as a "C-list politician with an A-list ego". Hmm. I think said "aide" is just doing what aides do, and keeping his boss's options open, because I also read that Gorgeous George is so pleased with the response to his weekend late-night phone-ins on TalkSport that he is considering a full-time media career. "We see a good future for George," says Bill Ridley, the station's programme director. "He has come on in leaps and bounds."

Crikey. If this is true, I shudder to think how Galloway sounded when he began. His shows are spectacularly awful, as if he were broadcasting from his front room rather than from the studios of a moderately successful national radio station. When he kicks off with his theme tune - music from the cartoon Top Cat, with voices shouting "Order! Order!" over the top - you think to yourself: OK, perhaps this will be quite funny. After all, he did once pretend to be a thirsty cat on TV. But then you hear his voice, and your first instinct is to run to the nearest pub and persuade the landlord to lock the door, fix you a double and call the police.

Yes, the man sounds like a loon. If ever you find yourself in a taxi being driven by someone who is listening to George's show, make them pull over at the next corner. The effect he could have on hand-eye co-ordination doesn't bear thinking about.

I once interviewed Galloway, and there was certainly something of the night about him, albeit a night heavy with orange blossom and the sound of the muezzin dancing on the breeze. He really does love the Middle East, which, perhaps, was why his oddly plosive way of speaking sounded more Arabic than Scottish in intonation. A few years on, this mannerism is now so pronounced that English might as well be his second language (either that, or he has an irritable bowel, and the weird pauses merely mask his burps). He also makes me think of the kirk. Not for George the anodyne chat parodied by Radio 4's spoof phone-in, Down the Line ("And toothpaste . . . has it gone too far?"). Even when asking listeners to name favourite Elvis tracks, his voice sounds tight with suppressed rage. "'Love Me Tender'?" you imagine him thundering at some woman from Plaistow. "Did the King teach you nothing?"

Galloway calls his programme "the mother of all talk shows", as if it were some legendary army, and he its bloodied commander. He also makes regular references to Armageddon. The day I tuned in, he was worked up over new claims that Israel was planning a nuclear attack on Iran. "It will usher in Armageddon in this world, I promise you," he said. So why does he sound so pleased about the prospect? Will Armageddon stop shy of his villa in the Algarve? I guess he's just so addicted to pulpit hyperbole that the prospects of nuclear war and finding out which of Elvis's songs his listeners love the best are of a piece to him. Because, the next thing I knew, he'd moved on to the rat his daughter had seen outside a London hospital, and Israel's "brigandry" was just a rhetorical memory. Rats. They're literally everywhere these days, aren't they?

Don't miss . . .

Tino Sehgal at the ICA

Rumoured by some to have been too fashionable for Turner Prize judges, his work dismissed by others as "conceptual nonsense", Tino Sehgal creates choreographed interactions and performance pieces. The work he presented last year at the ICA, This Progress, asked visitors to comment on "progress and civilisation". Audience participation will again be required with his new piece, This Success/This Failure, which focuses on ideas about education. It closes a trilogy of solo shows that the artist developed for the ICA's gallery.

Runs 29 January to 4 March at the Institute of Contemporary Arts, London SW1. www.ica.org.uk

Pick of the week

Rockit: the Herbie Hancock story
24 January, 10pm, Radio 2
Profile of the great jazz pianist, presented by Jamie Cullum, whose voice is the most boring on radio.

The Moral Maze
24 January, 8pm, Radio 4
Melanie Phillips et al return for more tooth-grinding debate.

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