A meeting of eyes as well as minds with the outgoing premier Tony Blair and new German Christian Democrat chancellor Angela "Maggie" Merkel enjoying a Berlin lovefest. My man with the phrase book is astonished at the hot personal and political chemistry, a cosiness absent between Herr Blair and the Social Democrat Gerhard Schroder since the Third Wayers went to war over Iraq. The tryst hits one bumpy patch: Tone and Maggie failing to show at an exhibition on this summer's World Cup finals in Germany. Perhaps Geoff Hurst's goal remains too raw four decades on from 1966 and all that.
Brownite babble about pursuing pushy Michael Wills under the Trade Descriptions Act as the Labour backbencher passes himself off as the incoming premier's speechwriter. Biggles Brown, last spotted wearing ski goggles over an RAF flying helmet as Prudence gives way to Rambo, is prepared to forgive Wills for an anti-monarchy blast presented as the leader-in-waiting's thinking. Others advocate reprisals. Wills, by the way, has a dislike of shaking hands, washing his mitts after pressing the flesh.
Downing Street is to take no action against papers publishing pictures of little Leo bouncing on Princess Cherie's knee at the Winter Olympics. With Citizen Dave parading Arthur and Big Gordie expecting another, kids are once again valuable political props as privacy takes a break. Lady Ming should cast that Lib Dem vote for Hughes or Huhne before it's too late.
"Tiny" Tim Allan, late of Downing Street, attracted placard-waving demonstrators outside his Portland PR outfit after banking £50,000 for running an Asda anti-union campaign. Tiny Tim is not the only Blairite turned bad-boss apologist. The one-time No 10 spinner Darren Murphy is now performing for Gate Gourmet, of Heathrow mass sackings infamy. Born-again lefty Neal Lawson's gone the other way, from Blairite outrider - running a lobbying firm advising the Sun King, Rupert Murdoch, on how to keep Wapping union-free - to advocate of Labour revolution. It's hard to keep up with these flexible chaps but I'll do my best.
I read in the minutes of the parliamentary press pinny boys the names of an old Times hand, a couple of ex-Express scribes and my former boss at the Press Association news wire, yet disappointingly none of the Gallery galacticos. Word was that the masons operated two lobby lodges, so perhaps chapter 1928 is the retirees. Anyone who'd like to peruse what this funny-handshake brigade got up to at their 366th convocation should get in touch.
Disrespected George Galloway finds no takers as he seeks a newspaper column after losing his £80,000 platform in the Hate on Sunday's Scottish edition. I suggest his agent try Cat World, Your Cat or Our Cat magazines.
Kevin Maguire is associate editor (politics) of the Daily Mirror