A reconstruction of the Lib Dem clearout (maybe). Photo: Guiseppe Cacace/AFP/Getty Images
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Commons Confidential: the Liberal Democrat clear-out sale

Money raised goes into a “fightback” fund – although the flattened Lib Dems will need more than the odd jumble sale to rise, Lazarus-like, from the dead.

A sign of things to come, perhaps? Conservatives queued up to slap Frank Field on the back after Maggie Thatcher’s favourite Labour MP was elected as the chair of the work and pensions committee on 18 June.

The Tory salutes were led, according to my snout, by Matthew Hancock, a ministerial member of Team Osborne so oily that his parliamentary comrade Philip Davies once remarked, “Anyone tempted to lick George Osborne’s backside should be careful . . . if you go too far, you’ll find the soles of Matt Hancock’s shoes in the way.” The cooing Tories interpreted Field’s first public statement as qualified support for Osborne’s and David Cameron’s welfare programme.

The industrial and political wings of the labour movement continue to diverge. The talk among Unite, Unison and GMB members is of endorsing none of the four candidates for Labour leader. If the unions decide to withhold patronage it would be a blow to Andy Burnham, who is seeking their support but not their money (in order to avoid the accusation that he is in their pocket).

One informant whispered that there is a groundswell in Unite to back Jeremy Corbyn, who shared a platform with the union’s general secretary, Len McCluskey, at an anti-austerity march in London on 20 June. Islington’s Dave Spart is already the pick of the train drivers’ union, Aslef, with Tom Watson its choice as deputy. A Corbyn victory remains improbable but not impossible, if the union bandwagon rolls. Ed Miliband’s 2014 reforms were intended to marginalise union influence. The result is that an affiliated member’s or £3 supporter’s ballot paper is worth as much as an MP’s.

The indignities of defeat included an “office clear-out sale” for the Liberal Democrat John Leech. “There’s ten years’ worth of electricals, Risos, printers, folders, tablets, monitors, phones, chairs, desks, tables, cabinets, noticeboards, whiteboards, stationery, campaign materials and other bits and pieces,” advertised the ex-MP for Manchester Withington.

Money raised goes into a “fightback” fund – although the flattened Lib Dems will need more than the odd jumble sale to rise, Lazarus-like, from the dead. I trust that none of the items above was purchased with public money.

The metal turnstile newly installed at the peers’ entrance to parliament will send shivers down the spines of dishonourable members. Expenses cheats, arsonists, perjurers and other assorted ex-cons will be reminded of the prison gates they walked through before shuffling back into the House of Cronies.

Bananas were banned from the recent Unison conference, as one of the 1,200 delegates was allergic to the fruit. No wonder David Miliband the banana-waver never secured the union’s support.

Kevin Maguire is the associate editor (politics) of the Daily Mirror

Kevin Maguire is Associate Editor (Politics) on the Daily Mirror and author of our Commons Confidential column on the high politics and low life in Westminster. An award-winning journalist, he is in frequent demand on television and radio and co-authored a book on great parliamentary scandals. He was formerly Chief Reporter on the Guardian and Labour Correspondent on the Daily Telegraph.

This article first appeared in the 26 June 2015 issue of the New Statesman, Bush v Clinton 2

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It's Gary Lineker 1, the Sun 0

The football hero has found himself at the heart of a Twitter storm over the refugee children debate.

The Mole wonders what sort of topsy-turvy universe we now live in where Gary Lineker is suddenly being called a “political activist” by a Conservative MP? Our favourite big-eared football pundit has found himself in a war of words with the Sun newspaper after wading into the controversy over the age of the refugee children granted entry into Britain from Calais.

Pictures published earlier this week in the right-wing press prompted speculation over the migrants' “true age”, and a Tory MP even went as far as suggesting that these children should have their age verified by dental X-rays. All of which leaves your poor Mole with a deeply furrowed brow. But luckily the British Dental Association was on hand to condemn the idea as unethical, inaccurate and inappropriate. Phew. Thank God for dentists.

Back to old Big Ears, sorry, Saint Gary, who on Wednesday tweeted his outrage over the Murdoch-owned newspaper’s scaremongering coverage of the story. He smacked down the ex-English Defence League leader, Tommy Robinson, in a single tweet, calling him a “racist idiot”, and went on to defend his right to express his opinions freely on his feed.

The Sun hit back in traditional form, calling for Lineker to be ousted from his job as host of the BBC’s Match of the Day. The headline they chose? “Out on his ears”, of course, referring to the sporting hero’s most notable assets. In the article, the tabloid lays into Lineker, branding him a “leftie luvvie” and “jug-eared”. The article attacked him for describing those querying the age of the young migrants as “hideously racist” and suggested he had breached BBC guidelines on impartiality.

All of which has prompted calls for a boycott of the Sun and an outpouring of support for Lineker on Twitter. His fellow football hero Stan Collymore waded in, tweeting that he was on “Team Lineker”. Leading the charge against the Murdoch-owned title was the close ally of Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn and former Channel 4 News economics editor, Paul Mason, who tweeted:

Lineker, who is not accustomed to finding himself at the centre of such highly politicised arguments on social media, responded with typical good humour, saying he had received a bit of a “spanking”.

All of which leaves the Mole with renewed respect for Lineker and an uncharacteristic desire to watch this weekend’s Match of the Day to see if any trace of his new activist persona might surface.


I'm a mole, innit.