Morning Call: pick of the papers

The ten must-read comment pieces from this morning's papers.

1. The truth is we are all living on Benefits Street (Guardian)

Everyone is on the take, and whole industries are on white-collar subsidies, writes Simon Jenkins. Some of us are just smarter at concealing it.

2. Dave and Nick, time to prepare your divorce papers (Times)

The coalition must run right up to the election, but there is a danger of civil war unless a strategy is put in place, writes Daniel Finkelstein. 

3. Britain is educating its children for jobs that soon won’t exist (Daily Telegraph)

The fate of the 'Neets’ is tragic, but they aren’t the only ones being failed by the system, says Mary Riddell. 

4. 5 ways to cheer up the Tories (and kill off the 'nasty party') (Guardian)

Asking Conservatives to stop sounding negative may be naive but I agree with Nicky Morgan: they need a change of tone, says Melissa Kite.

5. This evil should shame us into halting Assad (Times)

Britain can no longer avert its eyes from the brutal reality of life, and death, in Syria’s Dark Ages, says Roger Boyes. 

6. It’s time to reject crony capitalism and embrace the real thing (Daily Telegraph)

The solution is to promote competition, tear up barriers to entry, unleash consumer choice, and eliminate subsidies and soft loans, says Allister Heath. 

7. Cost of living? What about the cost of being dead? (Guardian)

The spiralling price of funerals is a symptom of the triumph of the market and the accompanying poverty of civic life, writes Zoe Williams.

8. The very model of a modern central banker (Financial Times)

Ben Bernanke, outgoing chairman, deserves credit for the Fed’s handling of the crisis, says Martin Wolf.

9. There's optimism in the global economy - but only the wealthy are feeling the effects (Independent)

In the UK, it is ‘fat cats’; here in the US, it is Wall Street versus Main Street, writes Hamish McRae. 

10. For truth on immigration, look to the Bard not politicians (Financial Times)

The debate has not been changed by new facts so much as the complexion of the government, writes John Kay. 

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LISTEN: Boris Johnson has a meltdown in car crash interview on the Queen’s Speech

“Hang on a second…errr…I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

“Hang on a second,” Boris Johnson sighed. On air, you could hear the desperate rustling of his briefing notes (probably a crumpled Waitrose receipt with “crikey” written on it) and him burbling for an answer.

Over and over again, on issues of racism, working-class inequality, educational opportunity, mental healthcare and housing, the Foreign Secretary failed to answer questions about the content of his own government’s Queen’s Speech, and how it fails to tackle “burning injustices” (in Theresa May’s words).

With each new question, he floundered more – to the extent that BBC Radio 4 PM’s presenter Eddie Mair snapped: “It’s not a Two Ronnies sketch; you can’t answer the question before last.”

But why read your soon-to-be predecessor’s Queen’s Speech when you’re busy planning your own, eh?

Your mole isn’t particularly surprised at this poor performance. Throughout the election campaign, Tory politicians – particularly cabinet secretaries – gave interview after interview riddled with gaffes.

These performances were somewhat overlooked by a political world set on humiliating shadow home secretary Diane Abbott, who has been struggling with ill health. Perhaps if commentators had less of an anti-Abbott agenda – and noticed the car crash performances the Tories were repeatedly giving and getting away with it – the election result would have been less of a surprise.

I'm a mole, innit.

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