SMF wins at Christmas cards

"Retiring Rudolph"

The winner of this year's Christmas card competition (yes, there was a competition, didn't you know?) is the Social Market Foundation, whose card is a perfect parody of their own reports. Click for a bigger version:

The text on the back says:

The debacle surrounding the refranchising of Santa's West Coast Sleighline has thrown gift distribution policy into a snow flurry this Christmas.

Last month, Rudolph's operation of the line came to an abrupt end, as purple-nosed reindeer Prancer was unexpectedly awarded the contract. But, as Rudolph languished in unseasonably bad-tempered retirement, the Partnership of Lapland Elves and Baubles (P.L.E.B.s) uncovered significant technical flaws in the bidding process, based on risky stocking capacity projections.

In this year's Christmas commission, the SMF research fairies propose a radical overhaul of the tendering process to ensure that such problems don't snowball in future.

"This is virgin' on the ridiculous. Unless we sort this thing out, next year there'll be 12 drummers drumming before we get the gifts out."
- The Ombusnowman

Sponsor: Virgin Mary

Alex Hern is a technology reporter for the Guardian. He was formerly staff writer at the New Statesman. You should follow Alex on Twitter.

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Michael Gove definitely didn't betray anyone, says Michael Gove

What's a disagreement among friends?

Michael Gove is certainly not a traitor and he thinks Theresa May is absolutely the best leader of the Conservative party.

That's according to the cast out Brexiteer, who told the BBC's World At One life on the back benches has given him the opportunity to reflect on his mistakes. 

He described Boris Johnson, his one-time Leave ally before he decided to run against him for leader, as "phenomenally talented". 

Asked whether he had betrayed Johnson with his surprise leadership bid, Gove protested: "I wouldn't say I stabbed him in the back."

Instead, "while I intially thought Boris was the right person to be Prime Minister", he later came to the conclusion "he wasn't the right person to be Prime Minister at that point".

As for campaigning against the then-PM David Cameron, he declared: "I absolutely reject the idea of betrayal." Instead, it was a "disagreement" among friends: "Disagreement among friends is always painful."

Gove, who up to July had been a government minister since 2010, also found time to praise the person in charge of hiring government ministers, Theresa May. 

He said: "With the benefit of hindsight and the opportunity to spend some time on the backbenches reflecting on some of the mistakes I've made and some of the judgements I've made, I actually think that Theresa is the right leader at the right time. 

"I think that someone who took the position she did during the referendum is very well placed both to unite the party and lead these negotiations effectively."

Gove, who told The Times he was shocked when Cameron resigned after the Brexit vote, had backed Johnson for leader.

However, at the last minute he announced his candidacy, and caused an infuriated Johnson to pull his own campaign. Gove received just 14 per cent of the vote in the final contest, compared to 60.5 per cent for May. 


Julia Rampen is the editor of The Staggers, The New Statesman's online rolling politics blog. She was previously deputy editor at Mirror Money Online and has worked as a financial journalist for several trade magazines.