SMF wins at Christmas cards

"Retiring Rudolph"

The winner of this year's Christmas card competition (yes, there was a competition, didn't you know?) is the Social Market Foundation, whose card is a perfect parody of their own reports. Click for a bigger version:

The text on the back says:

The debacle surrounding the refranchising of Santa's West Coast Sleighline has thrown gift distribution policy into a snow flurry this Christmas.

Last month, Rudolph's operation of the line came to an abrupt end, as purple-nosed reindeer Prancer was unexpectedly awarded the contract. But, as Rudolph languished in unseasonably bad-tempered retirement, the Partnership of Lapland Elves and Baubles (P.L.E.B.s) uncovered significant technical flaws in the bidding process, based on risky stocking capacity projections.

In this year's Christmas commission, the SMF research fairies propose a radical overhaul of the tendering process to ensure that such problems don't snowball in future.

"This is virgin' on the ridiculous. Unless we sort this thing out, next year there'll be 12 drummers drumming before we get the gifts out."
- The Ombusnowman

Sponsor: Virgin Mary

Alex Hern is a technology reporter for the Guardian. He was formerly staff writer at the New Statesman. You should follow Alex on Twitter.

Photo: Getty
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Cabinet audit: what does the appointment of Liam Fox as International Trade Secretary mean for policy?

The political and policy-based implications of the new Secretary of State for International Trade.

Only Nixon, it is said, could have gone to China. Only a politician with the impeccable Commie-bashing credentials of the 37th President had the political capital necessary to strike a deal with the People’s Republic of China.

Theresa May’s great hope is that only Liam Fox, the newly-installed Secretary of State for International Trade, has the Euro-bashing credentials to break the news to the Brexiteers that a deal between a post-Leave United Kingdom and China might be somewhat harder to negotiate than Vote Leave suggested.

The biggest item on the agenda: striking a deal that allows Britain to stay in the single market. Elsewhere, Fox should use his political capital with the Conservative right to wait longer to sign deals than a Remainer would have to, to avoid the United Kingdom being caught in a series of bad deals. 

Stephen Bush is special correspondent at the New Statesman. He usually writes about politics.