When in trouble, politicians simplify the ills of the other. So it was with Jacques Chirac. "I don't believe the British model is one we should envy or copy. Admittedly, unemployment there is lower than ours, but if you take the important things in life, such as health policy and the fight against poverty, you see that we are nevertheless in a far better position than the British."

The President of the Republic was giving an interview, appropriately enough, on Bastille Day in 2005. As Chirac leaves the scene, as French voters go to the polls in the first round of the election for his successor, and as Tony Blair follows shortly after (his replacement being chosen only by the Labour Party), it is perhaps appropriate to indulge in that time-honoured sport on both sides of the Manche, of mutual loathing, peppered with self-hate and envy.

On the surface, it would seem that the French economic model is in the deepest mire. A snapshot of statistics shows that France has fallen from eighth to 19th in national rankings of GDP per head. Growth rates are consistently below the EU average. Unemployment remains resolutely above 8 per cent; youth joblessness is a startling 22 per cent. State spending, 54 per cent of GDP, is among the world's highest, while the public sector employs a quarter of all workers. National debt is impossibly high.

It comes as little surprise, therefore, that France is undergoing a crisis of confidence. The main candidates in the election campaign declare in unison the need for change but cannot agree on the means. One of the more eye-catching events was a visit to Britain in January by Nicolas Sarkozy, the favourite and darling of the right, in which he promised the French expatriate community (now so large that London has become France's seventh-largest city) that he would make his country fit for them to return home. So many people tried to attend the rally that 2,000 had to stand outside. As the contest has worn on, however, Sarko has been forced to water down his neoliberal rhetoric for fear of antagonising voters back home.

The Socialist candidate, Ségolène Royal, has unashamedly advocated better rather than less state intervention, calling for a 20 per cent rise in the minimum wage (which is lower than Britain's), more money for universities and more social housing. All the candidates defend the 35-hour week, although Sarkozy and the centrist François Bayrou are calling for more incentives to work longer. What has united all the candidates, from Jean-Marie Le Pen of the National Front to José Bové, the anti-globalisation farmer, is a new hostility to the EU. Brussels is seen as a thoroughly Anglo-Saxon free-market plot - the reverse of similar conspiracy theories in the UK. As for racial tensions, both our countries are suffering from the disillusionment and disenfranchisement of swathes of their populations.

France feels under threat as never before. A loosening of labour markets will have to follow, whoever wins, though that battle will be extremely tough. The hopelessness and flight of young French people are not just economically inefficient, but socially unjust and divisive. Before the French overdo the despair, however, and Britons overdo the self-satisfaction, they should remember that not only do most indicators put France ahead of the UK in measures of living standards (remember the recent Unicef report that assessed Britain's youth as the unhappiest?), but also France works much better than we do in many areas. Not only is productivity higher, but management is often more innovative. Forget France's high-speed trains and its health service; the companies on the French CAC 40 stock-market index have pulled in record profits. Look around - several of our train, water and electricity firms are run by the French. Even Beefeater Gin, for goodness' sake.

France, supposedly the new sick man of Europe, might be a little under the weather. But instead of crowing, we have as much to learn from it in terms of social solidarity as it does from us in easy money-making. The next generation of politicians in both countries should co-operate more in facing the many challenges of globalisation, rather than competing in petty nationalism.

Subject: Re: Kate are you OK???

Hi everybody! So many of you wanted to know what was going on that I'm sending this to my entire email list on the strict understanding - obviously - that you divulge the contents to no one (apart from your own email lists).

A couple of weeks ago, Wills took me to dinner and started rabbiting on about my duties to be discreet. He extracted from me a solemn oath that I'd never "kiss and tell". What's to tell, I thought, but no sooner had I consented than he moved on to other topics: a posher, prettier, stupider girl he'd been seeing, a few misgivings here and there about my family's background, some embarrassing pictures Harry had taken of him in my underwear - just a prank, he said, but judge for yourself (attachments 1-10).

Well, as you and the whole world now know, "Heir to throne dumps Kate who has pledged not to talk." I'd gagged myself!

So, not telling you, then, about his musical tastes: Cheeky Girls, Jessica Simpson, Bel's Boys; or his six-figure eBay bid for Britney's hair; or his nicknames for his stepmum and grandfather (full list of family names in attachment 11). Really, never have so many wanted to know so much about so little (but you won't hear me say how little).

Max Clifford says an auction for my story would have fetched £5m. But look at the pix. I think more, don't you? After all, my life is so much more exciting than that other Kate with the spotty pop star.

So come on, stop feeling sorry for me! I'm rich already and I'm having fun.

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