Where were you?

Five things you might have missed last week

1. Use the ashtray

A Dorset man was fined £75 for flicking cigarette ash from his car window while driving. Alan Joyce complained that the offence hardly compared with dropping rubbish, but a councillor said: "The people of Poole won't tolerate littering."

2. Motorway alert

Venida Crabtree, 51, who spent £27,000 on driving lessons and failed nearly 40 times over 33 years, celebrated her first year as a qualified driver. Despite "several near misses", the former Oxford publican said she had full points on her licence and would soon be tackling her first motorway.

3. One to spare

An Indian businessman is to have surgery to remove an unwanted second penis, the Times of India reported. Though "diphallus" is a known condition the second organ is usually rudimentary, the paper said, but in this case the unnamed 24-year-old has two fully functioning penises.

4. Lounge rage

A Chelmsford couple, Alan and Janice White, came home to find their living room trashed by a squirrel that had fallen down the chimney. It chewed window frames and shredded curtains and a sofa before dying. "It's unfortunate for the family," said the RSPCA, "and the squirrel."

5. Deny that

A Knebworth farmer admitted being drunk in charge of a horse and cart after downing 20 pints of Guinness and five alcopops in an afternoon. Adrian Whitaker was so drunk he toppled off his cart and fell at the feet of the arresting officer.

This article first appeared in the 28 August 2006 issue of the New Statesman, Blogs plc