Please Mr Postmen

<em>Postcomm aims to lift Consignia's postal monopoly (With apologies to the Marvelettes and the Bea

Please Mr Postmen, look and see (oh yeah)

If there's some junk mail in your sacks for me

Must have been the longest time I've known (oh yeah)

Since they offered me a bargain loan

There must be some pension plans

Somewhere in your queue of vans

Please Mr Postmen, my heart beats

While your fleets compete along the streets

So many uniforms you wear

So many prices to compare

I know it's a cottage, isn't a castle

Which one of you has lost my parcel?

Please Mr Postmen, take a peek (oh yeah)

They sent it seventh-class the other week

Wait a minute, which of you knocks? (oh yeah)

I've only got one Christmas box - Wait!

Is this a vendetta? Deliver my letter!

This article first appeared in the 11 February 2002 issue of the New Statesman, Take cover: evil is back