No Survivors

<em>"I know exactly who voted against me" - JJ, the second castaway to be expelled from the TV show

Exactly who voted against me:

I know them. The gross and the greedy,

The suits and the admen,

The shadows and madmen,

The twisted, the twitchers, the tweedy.

It's a hard life out here in the jungle,

Watching out for the scrimper and skiver:

After making a speech

I head down to the beach

To discover why I'm no survivor.

The crabs and the snakes and the maggots:

Their attitude's really incensed me.

There are those who ignore me

(But they've voted for me -

I know just who is voting against me).

This article first appeared in the 04 June 2001 issue of the New Statesman, A dying body attracts vultures