This England

A man asked the Dorset authority for help after discovering damage to his house when he returned from holiday.
The police were called and an investigation concluded that the only entry . . . could have been with a key.The estate agency which was looking after the house denied any knowledge and blamed the damage on ghosts. - Bournemouth Daily Echo (Nick Thomas)

A motorcyclist who disappeared from the hospital where he was being treated for a broken spine, pelvis, arm and nose sparked an alert - until nurses learned he was at a pub.
Friends wheeled Malcolm Storey out of Southampton general hospital on his bed, put him in a van and drove him two miles to the Stile in Shirley, when he complained of being bored on the bank holiday. - Guardian (Imogen Forster)

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This article first appeared in the 18 September 2000 issue of the New Statesman, Let the poor seek a place in the sun