Two Little Berks

<em>Rolf Harris has just been given a new record deal as a "pop dance" act</em>

Two little berks had two little quirks

And each rode a hobby horse.

Daily they made insults to trade.

Premiers both, of course.

One little chump, out on the stump

Lurched to the right and tripped,

Cried out in fear at his daft idea

But his smart partner quipped:

"Did you think I would leave you lying

When there's room in The House for two?

Climb up here and we'll soon be vying

For the best of the ballyhoo.

Though we move right, we'll still be leaders,

And we'll both have the same old perks

Pretty soon it'll be September

And we'll be two little berks."

This article first appeared in the 28 August 2000 issue of the New Statesman, Secrecy laws will never be the same