This England

We already know that one of the key priorities for customers in [sic] simplicity - in our language, our fares, pro-cesses and information. Visible staff . . . speaking clearly and simply to our customers. Moving away, in other words, from the inward-looking jargon and processes of the railway which is of little or no relevance to the end user. This can be achieved without compromising any of our fundamental operating requirements. If I believe that solution is viable then clearly it is my responsibility - along with others - to articulate the arguments persuasively. - Derek Smith, managing director (London Underground advert)

Wanted - old deaf aid with valves. Contact Mr Jarvis. - The Oldie (Sigrid Rabiger)

A £5 book token for all entries printed above.
Entries on a postcard, please

This article first appeared in And is there honey by the Tees?

2000-07-03