The Co-operative Society

My name is Vladimir Blair

Your name is Anthony Putin

Observe our responsible air

And the bag which we keep a fresh suit in

You shake my hand by the left

I shake your hand by the right

I am the warp to your weft

You are the bark to my bite

We've laid every ghost, every ghoul

And each international gremlin

We've taken the horns by the bull

Who's going back to the Kremlin?

Sign here in invisible ink

To this bland and yet candid preamble

We leave in a nice shade of pink

Oh, and thank you for lending me Campbell

This article first appeared in the 24 April 2000 issue of the New Statesman, Are the loonies coming back?