This England

As four women who had just completed a fear-of-flying course flew with their instructor above Manchester in a British Airways plane on a return flight to Belfast, clouds of smoke began seeping into the cabin.
Now the students face another flight to make sure they are cured. - Independent (Derek Morgan)

A restaurant customer took a goldfish out of a fish tank and hurled it across the room because he believed it had been bullying other fish at the Royal Curry Tandoori restaurant in Gloucester. It hit a table leg and was killed instantly.
Anwar Ali, a waiter, said: "We were very upset because we liked that fish." - Sunday Times (Sigrid Rabiger)

A £5 book token for all entries printed above.
Entries on a postcard, please

This article first appeared in the 27 March 2000 issue of the New Statesman, The New Statesman Essay - How we have lost the joy of sex