Toytown: A Statement

<em>Noddy is 50. Jeffrey Archer withdrew from the race to be London's mayor</em>

I regret that Big Ears

has sold, for a crooked sixpence,

my little fib. When Mr Plod

suggested that Sally Skittle and I

were scoffing buns, I was in fiction

with Mrs Tessie Bear, and not,

as I implied, wolfing wobbly jelly

with Big Ears. Now I have cried

and wiped my face with a hanky,

I will not stand as mayor

of Toytown, so as not to upset

Bumpy Dog, or my little yellow

car. My cap goes Jingle. Sometimes

I have been very naughty (and even

VERY naughty), but mostly good

as a gumdrop. Jumbo will beat

Sly and Dobbo and Glenda

the goblins. Parp. Parp. Look

for the next Noddy book.

This article first appeared in An explosion of puffery