Toytown: A Statement

<em>Noddy is 50. Jeffrey Archer withdrew from the race to be London's mayor</em>

I regret that Big Ears

has sold, for a crooked sixpence,

my little fib. When Mr Plod

suggested that Sally Skittle and I

were scoffing buns, I was in fiction

with Mrs Tessie Bear, and not,

as I implied, wolfing wobbly jelly

with Big Ears. Now I have cried

and wiped my face with a hanky,

I will not stand as mayor

of Toytown, so as not to upset

Bumpy Dog, or my little yellow

car. My cap goes Jingle. Sometimes

I have been very naughty (and even

VERY naughty), but mostly good

as a gumdrop. Jumbo will beat

Sly and Dobbo and Glenda

the goblins. Parp. Parp. Look

for the next Noddy book.

This article first appeared in the 29 November 1999 issue of the New Statesman, An explosion of puffery