He once said: "I've been to war", though he hasn't. Then again, he once said: "I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully." When does this perplexing man say what he means, when does he mean what he says, and - most importantly - how much of it can we believe? With four more years in prospect, we strapped him to a lie detector in search of some truth . . .
Bush says: These are exciting times for our country. It's a time of amazing change. The world is changing. (July 2004) Machine says: Subject reactions normal. May be believed.
Bush says: One of the key components of finding out who is going to hurt us is good intelligence. (July 2004) Machine says: Subject reactions 90 per cent normal. No irony reading. May be believed.
Bush says: For those who say we haven't found the banned manufacturing devices or banned weapons, they're wrong. We have. (May 2003) Machine says: Every diagnostic sign shows subject is lying.
Bush says: I don't think I ever said I'm not worried about Osama Bin Laden. (October 2004)
Machine says: Diagnostic signs point to an untruth. Also indications of confusion.
Bush says: Clinton was more than a good politician. He was an innovator, a serious student of policy and a man of compassion. (Opening the Clinton Presidential Centre library, November 2004) Machine says: Balance of data suggests a lie, but also getting anomalous humour reading. May be a joke.
Bush says: We gave him [Saddam Hussein] a chance to allow the inspectors in, and he wouldn't let them in. (July 2004) Machine says: Data indicates complete pork pie.
Bush says: I think if you say you're going to do something and don't do it, that's trustworthiness. (August 2000) Machine says: No brain activity registered while these words were spoken.
Bush says: Free nations are peaceful nations. Free nations don't develop weapons of mass destruction. (October 2003) Machine says:Very slight brain activity. Subject rambling. Not to be taken as statement of fact.
Bush says: I do believe Ariel Sharon is a man of peace. (April 2002) Machine says: Check behind his back and you'll find his fingers are crossed.
Bush says: I would have said yes to abortion if only it was right . . . I mean, yeah . . . it's right . . . well no, it's not right . . . that's why I said no to it. (February 2000)
Machine says: Operator has committed a fatal error. Shut down machine immediately. Do not reboot. Return to manufacturer.