This England

It is not known whether Malcolm, an 11-year-old Lhasa Apso, was in the back of the car when the robbery took place. But Detective Inspector Matt Sharman, who is leading the inquiry, said: "Malcolm will form an important part of our investigation because he was with the robbers at one point." - Eastern Daily Press (John Garrett)

Residents of a Sheffield suburb have been advised to ignore cheeky youths . . . in the latest Ecclesfield parish magazine.
PC John Auckland says: "Many of these kids are cheeky . . . but if given a valid reason for stopping whatever they are doing, 99 per cent of the time the majority will oblige." - Sheffield Star (Barbara Jackson)

A £5 book token for all entries printed above.
Entries on a postcard, please

This article first appeared in the 23 August 1999 issue of the New Statesman, No Jews on their golf courses