Prepare for Government (Part Three)

When I was a lad I learned to scrub

As tea-boy at an Ancient Labour club;

I polished all the silver and the old Kit Kats

And then I went and joined the Social Democrats.

I polished off that chocolate so carefullee

That now I am the Leader of the Third Partee!

On TV shows I was such a wag

That my popularity began to sag;

But I washed my socks in Daz and Dreft

And now I'm Right of Right and also Left of Left.

I sat upon the fence with such dexteritee

That now I am the Leader of the Third Partee!

I laughed so loudly that they had to choose

Between my teeth and those of Simon Hughes;

Just think of all the platitudes I had to forge

To totter in the footsteps of the great Lloyd George.

I wore my Sunday best so frequentlee

That now I am the Leader of the Third Partee!