Are You Lonesome Tonight?

<em>According to the "Sunday Telegraph", David Trimble shops for shirts and CDs when he's depressed.

Are you lonesome tonight?

Are you pissed off tonight?

Are you sorry to twist it apart?

Did your Unionists stray and your shirt collars fray

When they whistled you in for the start?

Did the chairs up in Stormont seem better left bare?

Did you dream about Paisley and picture him there?

Is your feud with Sinn Fein, will you go back again?

Tell me, Dave, are you lonesome tonight?

(Very long spoken bit follows.)

Have your cuffs felt the strain, will you go back again?

Tell me, Dave, are you lonesome tonight?

This article first appeared in the 26 July 1999 issue of the New Statesman, I took tea with Pinochet