My Cherie Maman

<em>Stevie Wonder - to whom, apologies - is 50 this week. Leo Blair is 0.</em>

My Cherie maman, listen to the donkeys bray

My Cherie maman, bearing me the middle way

My Cherie maman, will I ever know which side I'm on?

Was I ordered up by Mandelson?

Does he hope that I'm divine?

In the Commons, or sometimes on the campaign bus

I'll be mentioned, and I'll cause a little fuss

My Cherie maman, will I be new Labour's paragon?

Or its new automaton?

Will I have a private shrine?

Maybe some day I won't need any chaperone

Maybe some day I'll spin a story of my own

Oh Cherie maman, must I be a Stella Rimington?

Nothing that I should pronounce upon?

How I wish I knew my line!