What is it about politicians and royals, thinking that it's not embarrassing for everyone involved when they decide to try their hand at "dropping beats"? Maybe it's too much of a tradition these days to justify getting rid of it, no matter how utterly lost it makes the victims feel, and how awkward it leaves the rest of us.
1) Will and Kate
This just happened in Adelaide. Nothing screams "out-of-touch" like a thousand years of privilege being confronted with two turntables and a microphone.
(This is also a good time to reminisce about Andrew Motion's excruciating "rap" poem, written to commemorate William's 21st birthday: "Better stand back, it's an age attack/but the second in line is dealing with it fine.")
2) Prince Charles
At a youth centre in Toronto, the heir to the throne somehow manages to mess up wearing headphones. He also seemed confused by the concept of "groove".
3) Rob Ford
The Mayor of Toronto may well be so bad at his job that it's made Canada actually interesting, but he also likes drugs and parties, and stuff that marks him out as someone who definitely shouldn't be this crap at building a beat. He has no sense of rhythm. It's like watching a dog desperately trying to dig down through concrete.
4) George Bush
Going acoustic for this one, but it's Dubya dancing along and joining in with the Kankouran West African Dance Company. His moves, the way he feels the beat... it's not great.
5) Stephen Fry
OK, he isn't a politcal figure - or party political, at least - but Stephen is dead posh, and, as evidenced by this video, is just as clueless behind the decks as you'd expect.
But it's OK, Stephen, because we like you! Aww. Cute.