Daily Mail unhappy 40-year-old Kate Moss has 40-year-old knees

For the Mail, Moss' true age is revealed not by a portrait in the attic, but by the skin halfway up her leg.

Time waits for no woman, including Kate Moss. Celebrating her 40th birthday this week at some club in Soho with some of her celebrity friends (if you care about where and who, then by all means, the Mail's got your back on this), the paper's report included one peculiar detail:

As you can see from the photo, Ms Moss - like almost every human with legs - has a fleshy hinge in the middle for the purposes of aiding locomotion. We suppose that botox might tighten up the skin around there, but the thing with knees is they have to have a bit of give, so they can bend. That's quite crucial.

Page 3 of the paper version even included a helpful zoom-in on the offending leg-elbows.

This isn't the first time the Mail has focused on Ms Moss' knees - it was the focus of a headline back in 2007 - and even other magazines like Heat have found her knees shocking (somehow). Other female celebrities to come under fire for daring to be born with legs include Elle Macpherson, Kylie Minogue, Cindy Crawford, Heidi Klum, Eliza Doolittle, Tara Reid, Miley Cyrus, Eva Longoria and Nicollette Sheridan.

The scene inside a knee. (Image: Wikimedia Commons)

I'm a mole, innit.

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Douglas Carswell leaves Ukip to become independent MP

The Clacton MP quits his party but insists he will not rejoin the Conservatives or trigger a by-election. 

Douglas Carswell has long been a Ukip MP in name only. Now he isn't even that. Ukip's sole MP, who defected from the Conservatives in 2014, has announced that he is leaving the party.

Carswell's announcement comes as no great surprise. He has long endured a comically antagonistic relationship with Nigel Farage, who last month demanded his expulsion for the sin of failing to aid his knighthood bid. The Clacton MP's ambition to transform Ukip into a libertarian force, rather than a reactionary one, predictably failed. With the party now often polling in single figures, below the Liberal Democrats, the MP has left a sinking ship (taking £217,000 of opposition funding or "short money" with him). As Carswell acknowledges in his statement, Brexit has deprieved Ukip of its raison d'être.

He writes: "Ukip might not have managed to win many seats in Parliament, but in a way we are the most successful political party in Britain ever. We have achieved what we were established to do – and in doing so we have changed the course of our country's history for the better. Make no mistake; we would not be leaving the EU if it was not for Ukip – and for those remarkable people who founded, supported and sustained our party over that period.

"Our party has prevailed thanks to the heroic efforts of Ukip party members and supporters. You ensured we got a referendum. With your street stalls and leafleting, you helped Vote Leave win the referendum. You should all be given medals for what you helped make happen – and face the future with optimism.

"Like many of you, I switched to Ukip because I desperately wanted us to leave the EU. Now we can be certain that that is going to happen, I have decided that I will be leaving Ukip."

Though Ukip could yet recover if Theresa May disappoints anti-immigration voters, that's not a path that the pro-migration Carswell would wish to pursue. He insists that he has no intention of returning to the Conservatives (and will not trigger a new by-election). "I will simply be the Member of Parliament for Clacton, sitting as an independent."

Carswell's erstwhile Conservative colleagues will no doubt delight in reminding him that he was warned.  

George Eaton is political editor of the New Statesman.