Life & Society
Chained to Nicholas Ridley
Published 04 March 2008
Ah the anti-road protests of the 1990s! Life became a heady cocktail of Just William and The Colditz Story, and I camped out all summer
There was a time when I knew every inch of the Palace of Westminster. From the sightless creatures nuzzling the rotting piles driven deep into the Thames mud to the garrets where government whips lodge the children of backbenchers who threaten to cut up rough.
The old place combines the atmosphere of a medieval cathedral and a Victorian railway terminus. And it has engulfed both over the centuries. I could still take you down long-forgotten corridors and show you their ruins.
I was excited when I saw pictures of Plane Stupid protestors on the roof. Not because there is anything remarkable about getting up amongst the gargoyles. Before all this nonsense about security came in - and I for one will not venture down Whitehall unless I am properly tooled up, given the people you are in danger of meeting - there was a whole tribe existing up there. They lived off pigeons and the occasional tourist who wandered too far from his guide.
No, it was because they made me nostalgic for the anti-road protests of the 1990s. That was the era when Swampy became famous overnight by chaining himself to Nicholas Ridley. Tunnels, tree houses, open fires… Life became a heady cocktail of Just William and The Colditz Story, and I camped out all summer.
Meanwhile down on the ground, the protestors demanding a referendum on the Lisbon treaty quite had their thunder stolen. The same went for Dangerous Ed Davey, the Liberal Democrats and their mass walk out. Though being Liberal Democrats, they will certainly have shut the door nicely behind them.
Why, I hear you ask, do the Lib Dems want a referendum on membership of the EU tout court rather than on the treaty?
That’s easy. If they supported a referendum on Lisbon there is a danger the motion might get through. But there is no chance of the Commons supporting a referendum on EU membership.
******
The hot news in the Shropshire Star is that a puma has been sighted on Wenlock Edge by a farmer trimming hedges.
“It stopped suddenly roughly 10 to 12 yards away from me, it hissed, bearing its white fang teeth, ears flattened against its enormous head. I waved my arms in the air and shouted. It turned and jumped into the woodland.”
By coincidence, I was a shareholder in the Wenlock Edge Safari Park before its unfortunate and rather sudden closure. (I still maintain those nuns were the authors of their own misfortune.) But let me take this opportunity of assuring readers that every effort was made to rehouse the animals safely.
Even so, I shall be sleeping with the drawbridge up tonight.
******
They’ve got the right idea in Australia. Just look at the headlines:
Anti-Hoon Law Bites
Tough New Anti-Hoon Laws for New South Wales
Super-Charge Anti-Hoon Laws for Victoria
I have even gained a new political hero through reading Australian papers. Bob Cameron, Victoria’s Police Minister says:
“The laws have been able to be used to break-up hooning where it's been occurring in an area. In addition, there haven't been many people caught twice, so most people who have been caught have given up their hooning practices.”
There are those who will tell you that “hoon” is merely an Australian word for a hooligan or boy racer.
Ignore them.
If the government chief whip tries to persuade Labour backbenchers to vote to increase the limit for the detention of terrorist suspects to 42 days -- in other words, engages in hooning practices -- we should press for anti-Hoon laws in Britain too.
Post this article to
We want to encourage people to comment on our content and to exchange views with other readers and hope this will be done on a courteous basis. However, if you encounter posts which are offensive please let us know by emailing comments@newstatesman.co.uk and we will take swift action where necessary.
