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Tell the ambassador we haven't a clue
Published 25 October 2007
Condoleezza Rice arrives in a US motorcade with CIA outriders and no one in the police or government has the foggiest idea what's going on - it's a metaphor for the peace process
Despite living in Bethlehem, I miss Condoleezza Rice's visit to the city. She turns up early, so that is one excuse, but I knew nothing about her trip anyway. Nor did anyone else we can find. My wife, Leila, who runs the local "Save the City" campaign - Open Bethlehem - gets a call from the Palestinian ambassador to Washington asking for details of Rice's visit. Leila admits she has none. We speak to the president's office, which also knows nothing. We eventually learn that the US State Department co-ordinated her visit with the chamber of commerce. That's fine. No one cares how Condoleezza comes, as long as she comes in good faith. But the idea that a US motorcade - replete with CIA outriders - could descend on the city, with no one in the police or government having the foggiest, may be an apt metaphor for the latest peace process. It has come so unexpectedly, from so unlikely a source, that we are all bewildered.
Blair's Refugee-Returnville
There are problems in being a Mancunian in Bethlehem. I spent half the summer backtracking on criticisms I had made of Sven-Göran Eriksson and Tony Blair, as I explained why they were now the right men in their new jobs. Blair's role is to focus on nation-building. I discover that local businessmen have already been briefed on a "Blair plan" which apparently involves soft loans, an airport in Jericho and a whole new city near Ramallah: "Refugee-Returnville". All of which sounds as if Blair is playing a life-size version of SimCity. Yet he's finding time to stray beyond his brief. At the American Colony Hotel two weeks ago, he received a stream of politicians from Israel's ruling coalition, all of whom poured cold water on a US-backed Middle East conference to be held in Annapolis, Maryland, next month. Their hostility makes Rice's enthusiasm all the more bizarre. We are beginning to believe she must be genuine, if so many Israeli politicians are nervous.
Shlurple the purple
A friend has returned from a visit to London, complaining that it compares badly with Bethlehem. He had enough foresight to pack his own sheesha pipe, but was disappointed with the quality of London tobacco. His family had to post him fresh tobacco. I thought this was hilarious till I remembered my family holidays in the south of France. We took suitcases full of Tetley tea, Heinz beans and Vimto, and my grandmother had the Rochdale Observer posted to her: twice weekly. I am happy to report you can buy Vimto in Bethlehem.
An embarrassment of ballots
I may be the only person able to vote in the Palestinian elections and the Lib Dem leadership contest. I became a Lib Dem in a burst of enthusiasm for international law, hiding under a settee as the Israeli army shelled the local refugee camp. I have the vote in Palestine thanks to my wife. In Palestine, identity cards are issued by the Israeli military. Around 60,000 people have no card so are unable to prove they exist. The PA enfranchised the married ones, at least, by letting them use their marriage certificates when registering to vote. The irony is that my vote gives me more power than the four million Palestinian refugees outside the country. For them, it has come as a bitter shock that the voters here will decide what concessions are appropriate for peace. I suspect, like me, they will stress territorial issues, and fudge the refugees' right of return.
Hangdog Huhne
I know Nick Clegg well and would trust him with my life, if not with a prizewinning collection of cacti. But banging on about Nick's charm and charisma feels like overkill. True, his opponent, Chris Huhne, has the bling and swagger of Alistair Darling and the hangdog good looks of Craig Cash, star of The Royle Family. But that is no reason not to elect him. A better reason is that, as the party's environment spokesmen, he threw away its lead on green issues. The public now believe David Cameron is our greenest politician. Huhne could argue that he was too busy introducing himself to Lib Dem activists to push the party's environment message. But as Cleggie says, the party needs to reconnect with the liberal strain in Britain as a whole, and not just play nice with existing supporters.
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