Eleanor Margolis: sapphic cynic at large

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Oscar Wilde in c1884. Photo: Hulton Archive/Getty Images
It’s quite hard to be witty when a man with a tin of beans is calling you a “dyke”
By Eleanor Margolis - 17 December 9:31

It’s unfair that, when we come under attack for our sexuality, gender or race, we expect ourselves to immediately develop the stoicism of Marcus Aurelius, the eloquence of Eleanor Roosevelt and the wit of Oscar Wilde.

Fans await the arrival of William and Kate in New York. Photo: Getty
I’ll never understand why people scream on catching sight of the royal family
By Eleanor Margolis - 10 December 12:28

It seems that today’s screaming fans are more extreme than ever.

A restaurant in central London. Photo: Carl Court/AFP/Getty Images
If you want to know how socially conservative Britain still is, go to a restaurant
By Eleanor Margolis - 04 December 10:28

Lesbians have been asked not to kiss because “this is a family restaurant”, and a woman having afternoon tea at Claridge’s was told that she wasn’t allowed to breastfeed her baby. We aren’t always as liberal as we think.

Alexander Armstrong and Richard Osman, the kind and non-judgmental hosts of Pointless. Photo: Getty Images
At once fascinating, horrifying and mildly arousing, ignorance porn is everywhere (and I love it)
By Eleanor Margolis - 24 November 12:02

Shows like Pointless satisfy a new itch - to gawp at those who don't know obvious things, like what toast is. It's hardcore ignorance porn at its best.

Nicki Minaj's misguided Nazi hip-hop dystopia achieves a rare feat: offending absolutely everybody
By Eleanor Margolis - 13 November 13:13

The star's new music video features a cartoon version of scenes straight out of Triumph of the Will - but she claims it was accidental. Somehow.

Why you should be worried about Dapper Laughs: he’s making sexism mundane
By Eleanor Margolis - 07 November 10:39

The internet comedian is turning retro sexism into a viral phenomenon, and now that he’s been give his own ITV2 show, the message is clear: misogyny is just as mainstream and marketable as ever.

A Pride march in San Francisco. Photo: Sarah Rice/Getty
On gay rights, the Conservatives are still, unsurprisingly, conservative
By Eleanor Margolis - 03 November 16:00

A much-clarified tweet from the Department for Education serves to remind us that despite the introduction of same-sex marriage, the Conservative Party has yet to catch up on some issues.

Zombies attend the 2014 Venice Carnival. Photo: Marco Secchi/Getty
What is it about fancy dress that makes us think we can behave appallingly?
By Eleanor Margolis - 29 October 13:38

Halloween is particularly bad for this – from Jimmy Savile costumes to “sexy ebola” outfits, we seem to see it as an excuse to be offensive. Much better stick to the traditional zombies and gore.

A still from “Margarita, with a Straw”.
Margarita, with a Straw: an Indian indie film with a lot to say about disability and sexuality
By Eleanor Margolis - 22 October 12:04

Central character Laila is hounded by reminders that she’s different, but refreshingly, never accepts this herself.

Sorry shouldn't just be a passive-aggressive tool for getting more space on the Tube. Photo: Getty
A mere apology isn’t good enough any more – we need Sorry Plus™
By Eleanor Margolis - 17 October 17:19

For too long, saying sorry has just been a get out of jail free card for people who burp opinions that would make Katie Hopkins blush. It’s time we meant it.

Imagine a hat made out of lemons. Photo: Getty
Life has given Generation Y lemons, and yet somehow we make hats
By Eleanor Margolis - 10 October 12:20

Bret Easton Ellis has termed Generation Y “Generation Wuss”. What’s wrong with being a wuss?

Ariana Grande and Nicki Minaj performing together. Photo: Getty
The modishness of female body parts is cyclical – when will ears get their turn?
By Eleanor Margolis - 29 September 11:18

Beginning with last year’s twerking extravaganza, and climaxing in Jennifer Lopez and Iggy Azalea’s recent hit single “Booty”, we’re increasingly arse-focused.

It's all very well to be a bit bicurious but not to cynically treat us like guinea pigs. Photo: Getty
No, going lesbian for a year is not an acceptable hobby
By Eleanor Margolis - 19 September 12:44

No matter how much depth and nuance there may well be between the covers of Lesbian For a Year, the book’s premise is damaging and dreary.

Hunting trophies reading for mounting. Photo: Getty
Does the world really need another vegetarian lesbian?
By Eleanor Margolis - 12 September 13:59

A cheerfully-purchased memento mori is forcing Eleanor Margolis to rethink her dietary choices. At least in the bedroom.

Mindfulness can be lovingly, painstakingly assaulting fruit. Photo: Getty
Mindfulness: the sexy cure-all for the nail-chewing ailments of my anxiety-ridden generation
By Eleanor Margolis - 05 September 10:43

Or, how I ended up plucking the seeds off a strawberry at six in the morning.

A reveller waves a rainbow flag during a gay pride parade. Photo: Getty
Why coming out matters
By Eleanor Margolis - 29 August 12:31

Your sexuality is an important part of you, and no one should be allowed to diminish that.

Adele Exarchopoulos and Lea Seydoux in “Blue is the Warmest Colour”.
Five theories as to why lesbians are more likely to orgasm than straight women
By Eleanor Margolis - 21 August 13:31

A recent study by the Kinsey Institute has found that lesbians are much more likely to orgasm during sex than either straight or bisexual women.

We’ve won, lesbians. We’ve penetrated the realm of emojis
By Eleanor Margolis - 15 August 14:26

Snark aside, queer women should never be invisible.

“Lesbian sperm banks”: When the media reports good news as bad news
By Eleanor Margolis - 04 August 15:12

There is a peculiar phenomenon of good news being reported as bad news. When you’re L, G, B or T, you notice this quite a lot. 

Don't pretend this doesn't depress you. Photo: Matti Mattila on Flickr via Creative Commons
In the housing crisis, blue carpet is a symbol of the landlord’s freedom to channel Ebenezer Scrooge
By Eleanor Margolis - 01 August 15:53

The housing crisis has created a seller’s market in which landlords have the power to treat their tenants with as much contempt as they like, including installing carpet in shades never found in nature.

A lesbian couple at Tokyo Pride. Photo: Getty
Lesbian by choice: Eleanor Margolis reviews Julie Bindel's Straight Expectations
By Eleanor Margolis - 25 July 12:43

What Does It Mean to Be Gay Today? asks Julie Bindel in the subtitle of her new book. For me, it means enduring endless dull and pukey nights out on the scene, says Eleanor Margolis.

A step-by-step breakdown of the terrible, unsexy trailer for 50 Shades of Grey
By Eleanor Margolis - 25 July 12:07

It's sure to be the smash hit of the summer, in 2012.

The left’s insistence on Jews apologising for being Jewish is anti-Semitic
By Eleanor Margolis - 24 July 15:37

Whenever the western left sides instinctively with Palestine my heart says, “Jew-haters” while my mind says, “Shut the f*** up, heart.”

Pointy bishop hats for everyone! Photo: Getty
I'm a big Jesus fan! Make me the first lesbian bishop, Church of England
By Eleanor Margolis - 17 July 11:51

All over the world, socially liberal Christians would be able to say that they’d lived to see a Jewish lesbian don the pointy hat of bishopdom

This is what Tinder is like for lesbians. Honest. Photo: Getty
Like so many things in life, Tinder is just different for lesbians
By Eleanor Margolis - 03 July 11:51

I feel like Tinder is a place where lesbians play badminton and drink iced tea, while straight women trawl through skips while dodging rotten turnips that are being lobbed at their heads.

World Pride in London in July 2012. Photo: Getty
How to enjoy Gay Pride (if you’re straight)
By Eleanor Margolis - 26 June 11:22

Do drink slightly warm cider, dance in public and raise your voice in support of LGBT rights. Don’t dare each other to “go up to” drag queens.

American Apparel's CEO Dov Charney has been removed by the company's board. Photo: Getty
Dov Charney, Terry Richardson, and the misogynistic truth about hipster cool
By Eleanor Margolis - 20 June 13:38

A bizarre double standard has emerged in the fashion world, where misogyny is OK, as long as it pastiches a bygone era of kitsch female subjugation.

Peggy Beaty as a maid in the play "The Five O'Clock Girl" in 1929. Photo: Sasha/Getty
Why I still tip a surly waitress after bad service
By Eleanor Margolis - 18 June 12:07

Refusal to massage every customer with niceness is, perhaps, a sort of personal strike. Why not support them by still giving a tip?

Twitter on screen. Photo: Flickr
"Why does Sellotape even bother?": the futility of brands doing social media marketing
By Eleanor Margolis - 30 May 10:50

“Who’s excited for a Bank Holiday sleep in?” tweeted some crisps, recently.

American Samoa footballers Nicky Salapu and Jaiyah Saelua with their coach Thomas Rongen. Photo: Getty
Next Goal Wins: a football film with a vital message about overcoming transphobia in sport
By Eleanor Margolis - 20 May 10:15

A new documentary about the American Samoa football team (who hold the world record for the biggest international defeat – 31-0 to Australia in 2001) gives hope that professional sport won’t always be prejudiced against those who are different.

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