Why I should start saying sorry

Ziauddin Sardar

Published 16 August 2007

No amount of anti-racism, inclusion or social justice will ever eradicate the inescapable reality of being descended from a human cattle auction

Sorry has become a most problematic word. As John Wayne kept saying in She Wore a Yellow Ribbon: "Never apologise - it's a sign of weakness."

Yet chauvinists are not alone in finding it the hardest word to say. I was part of the generation that learned the mantra "Love means never having to say you're sorry" from the Hollywood weepie Love Story. You didn't need to be a fan to be seduced by the idea. It was part of the zeitgeist. Perhaps that's how the love generation became convinced it never had anything to apologise for. I bought into this. "What's the point of saying sorry?" I have argued repeatedly. "It doesn't achieve anything. The important thing is to transcend the mistakes we've made." Or, as Tony Blair used to say, "Let's just move on."

On 23 August there will be an "International Day for the Remembrance of the Slave Trade and its Abolition". The commemoration will begin with the opening of the International Slavery Museum in Liverpool. It will be an opportunity to learn about the inhumanity imposed on black people. The Atlantic slave trade was the first flush of modernity: a systematic, integrated, industrial-scale project that made people into units and chattels in a way never before known.

But this month we see the system of chattel slavery through a particular prism: the movement for the ending of the organised trade in human flesh and gore. And what we learn is that "we", despite the national wealth accumulated, despite being the world's leading exponent of this dark art, abolished the trade in an upsurge of moral conscience. We came good in the end.

The problem with this position is that it leaves the contours of the world-view which produced slavery untouched. Slavery was an inevitable part of the mindset of European expansion. To me, it was seamlessly necessary in a view of the world that was hierarchical, that saw civilisation and history as serial upward progress that reserved the top spot exclusively for Europeans or, more particularly, the British. So the important thing for me was not to say sorry about slavery, but to do something about abolishing this world-view.

Then, two things happened. I stumbled into the "Breaking the Chains" exhibition at the British Empire and Commonwealth Museum in Bristol. This exceptionally well-researched effort does not focus on the horrors of slavery. Instead, it shows what Africans were like, how cultured and civilised they were, before their "discovery" by the white man. It is difficult to go through this exhibition and not think that there is something here to apologise for.

A couple of weeks later I met Joel, a black American university lecturer. We got into a heated discussion about the nature of colonialism, imperialism and their ongoing histories. The more I insisted the history of western attitudes to other people was one integrated process, the more irritated Joel became. Eventually, in anguish, he shrieked: "No, Zia, your ancestors never stood on a block to be sold like cattle."

And that's when I learned the meaning of saying sorry. It is not an intellectual exercise, not a sanitised commemoration, not just knowing that such history existed. It is reaching out to feel the pain; to see and in some visceral way appreciate the consciousness that lives and will live on in all whose identity was made by the fact of slavery.

Without that leap of understanding we can never really know our neighbours, our colleagues, our friends. It is the genuine multicultural experience - not the story of "us", but of what it is for "them". No amount of anti-racism, inclusion or social justice will ever eradicate the inescapable reality of being descended from a human cattle auction. And when you see that, sorry will be the only word you can say.

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8 comments from readers

DavidGwilliam
17 August 2007 at 15:07

For Joel to want an apology from Ziauddin for crimes committed long before either of them were born was not just illmannered it was absurd. He should have told Joel to stop being a victim.

waywoodwind
19 August 2007 at 06:35

Many black people have a large chip on their shoulder

Yes slavery was wrong, so was sending British children down the mines into factories and up chimneys.

And what of all the Scottish people driven of the land to make way for profit making sheep, all those was a kind of slavery.

But ask any African slave descendent if they would like to be returned to their ancestral home land and all of them would refuse to stop in the west.

All our ancestors’ paid the price yesterday for our today’s.

southern cross
20 August 2007 at 01:38

Our forefathers may or may not have been responsible for the shame of slavery. But what does it matter? There has been - in the past, as today, much suffering in the world in all areas. This all leaves scars. People who care, find it easy to say to those who are still imprisoned by their pain - "I am sorry for your suffering", without feeling that saying this somehow is to admit personal responaibility.

gnuneo
22 August 2007 at 17:52

i refuse to say sorry for something that *perhaps* my genetic ancestors took part in.

i do however have no problem apologising for actions in today's world that *i* exist in, i have said sorry to iraqi refugees in copenhagen for what 'my' govt had done and was doing, i have said sorry to people that racism still exists in my culture.

these are things i *can* take some blame for, because they are happening whilst i am here and can do something about.

but i am not going to carry a guilt burden over things that happened centuries before i did.

nor do i accept the burden of apology for someone else's actions just because they share the same skin colour as myself. During my time as a teacher in malawi, i faced racism daily - some hostile, but much 'positive', if that makes sense. Indeed, one of the greatest benefits to being in africa was learning what it is like to be judged primarily upon your skin colour, something you cannot do anything about.

but i do not demand from afro-saxons that they apologise for the racism i was shown in africa by people of the same skin colour as themselves!

Although zuidar, to be tactless is also something to be apologetic for...

peace.

Elma
26 August 2007 at 12:43

saying sorry is not about what we could have or could have not possibly prevented, nor becoming overburdened with personal or community guilt, it's not about us anymore. it's about the other who suffered consequences. why take it all so egocentrically if it helps to alleviate a bit somebody's pain?

Cheryl
26 August 2007 at 20:06

Who are ancestors are, and how that does shape our identities should not be dismissed as some might do with comments like "just a chip on the shoulder". Perhaps to believe that our genetic past does resonate into the present is an act of faith. Regardless, as agree with Ziauddin Sardar's statement that "It is reaching out to feel the pain; to see and in some visceral way appreciate the consciousness that lives and will live on in all whose identity was made by the fact of slavery". It is about reaching out to connect with another person's experience in such a way that they feel understood on a deeper level...not just the intellectual level.

gnuneo
27 August 2007 at 01:05

there is not a person alive who's ancestors have not been beaten, stabbed, murdered, raped, abused, bludgeoned, eaten (by animals, hopefully), and degraded, in other words had their essential humanity taken away for various reasons.

to demand that black people have a special right to have others say "sorry", is to limit people with black skin to being primarily judged upon their skin colour - the very mentality that *caused* racially based slavery!

that people face racism today, that is something to understand, and to feel compassion about, but to project that backwards, to create an eternal guilt for actions done by long-dead people who happen to have the same skin colour as ourselves - this is ludicrous, and actually self-defeating.

apologise for injustices in today's society, and be aware of the historic context in which we exist - but frankly i'll be damned if i will carry around a guilt burden based merely upon a shade of skin.

a victim culture helps no one, and goes nowhere. We can say sorry about past injustices until we're blue in the face, and it will change absolutely nothing - what IS important is ensuring that today's injustices are ended, and future ones prevented.

dividing people up on the basis of skin colour, and then saying one has to carry a guilt complex, and the other a victim complex, is certainly not going to achieve anything positive.

lets work forward to create a better future, not eternally whine about what has happened in the past.

Neil
28 December 2007 at 21:49

What's the point of saying sorry for things that happened hundreds of years ago, or more to the point 'who' should say sorry and to whom? What difference is it going to make now after all this time? Where would Joel be today if there had been no slavery, would he have had the education to become a university lecturer? Too many people in this world hang on to too many grievances for too long, it's such a waste of time and energy. I am descended from the Scottish people mentioned by waywoodwind in an earlier comment who were displaced from their land by English landowners hundreds of years ago, i don't hate the English or expect an apology from any that are around today for what was done by a few of their forefathers so long ago, to do so would be stupid and pointless. People who hold grudges over ancient wrongdoings should put their energies to better use and live for today, not yesteryear!

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About the writer

Ziauddin Sardar

Ziauddin Sardar, writer and broadcaster, describes himself as a ‘critical polymath’. He is the author of over 40 books, including the highly acclaimed ‘Desperately Seeking Paradise’. He is Visiting Professor, School of Arts, the City University, London and editor of ‘Futures’, the monthly journal of planning, policy and futures studies.

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