Last week this pathetic non-story broke in the tabloid newspapers, a new flood of self-righteous disgust, as if we hadn’t already been deluged with that enough already. Basically 42 kids who’d been round the supermarket on a school trip (and is it just me or the credit crunch, but haven’t the quality of school trips declined a bit of late? At least we got to go to the Welsh [...]

There has been some more furore about Spanish racism towards Lewis Hamilton. I hate racism and everyone in Spain is racist and so I hate them all. Which isn't racist, because the Spanish are not a race. What I am is xenophobic and generalising and wrong.

But not as stupid and wrong as ALL Spanish people. All right, let’s be fair – SOME Spanish people.

The recent Spanish stupidity has [...]

I took the train to Brighton for a performance of my retrospective on my adolescence, “The Headmaster’s Son” last Friday. The carriage was predictably packed and it was standing room only. Despite being hot and bothered and having chubby businessmen rubbing up against me, getting their frottaging kicks, I got my cheap thrills by observing my fellow commuters. It was faintly surprising to see the number of smartly dressed men [...]

So how do I feel about my boyhood hero, Johnny “Rotten” Lydon, appearing in an advert for Country Life butter?

Is it against the principles of punk rock? Is it the ultimate sell out? It's not exactly cash from chaos, unless you count the chaos of the milk churn. Is he, as Bill Hicks would contend, removed from the artistic world for all eternity?

I [...]

I hate politicians. They are idiots. Pretty much without exception. One has a vague feeling that there might have been some more honourable ones, in some bygone era, but in reality those George Washingtons and Mahatma Gandhis and William Gladstones were probably as hollow and rotten and transparent (not a good combination, as their festering emptiness is on full view to the world) as the ones we've got now.

As [...]

I am back in the news again. Just a casual mention in an Independent article about Lee Hurst breaking a punter's phone.

The relevant bit reads "In 2005, the comedian Richard Herring smashed an audience member's mobile. When the owner went on stage to demand £70 for the phone, Herring quipped: "I'm not giving you £70 for that. It's broken.""

The story was picked up (and slightly twisted [...]

I have been blogging every day for nearly six years now, sounding off in the comfort of my house, often forgetting that all the crap I am spewing out can be read by anyone in the world who has a computer and the inclination to find it.

As Edinburgh drew to a close I blogged about my dissatisfaction with the if.comedy panel. Basically I said it was a bit [...]

I have been in Edinburgh for over a fortnight now and am half way through the run of my latest stand up show, The Headmaster’s Son. It’s going rather well this year, thanks for asking (oh you didn’t), although I have just nearly crippled myself by trying to leap frog on to a high stool on stage, forgetting I am 41 years old and twatting myself in the ribs.

On my way up to the Edinburgh Fringe (The Headmaster’s Son – Underbelly, 7.30pm) I stopped off for a gig in Newcastle and stayed with my friend Jeremy. He has two children, an inquisitive seven year old boy and his shy younger sister, who wasn't quite sure about me. At breakfast she made herself a small hide out of cereal boxes which blocked me out or her in [...]

I have just turned 41 years old. It’s the start of my 42nd year on this planet. I am experiencing every date of the year for the 42nd time – apart from February 29th which I’ve done a mere eleven times, which means I am not as jaded with it as I am with all the others. Forty two July 16ths! I think once you’ve lived through twenty-five July 16ths [...]