THE JUDGES' FINAL CABINET
Prime Minister Deputy PM Chancellor Foreign Lord Chancellor Home Education/Employm Environment Leader of Commons Culture Cabinet Office International Develop Social Security Agriculture Leader of the Lords Trade/Industry Health Regions Defence Transport Treasury Chief Sec	Yvette Cooper Harriet Harman Kenneth Clarke Tony Benn Sven Eriksson Martin Johnson Gordon Brown Stella McCartney Prince William Harry Potter Ali G Tony Blair David Blunkett Rhodri Morgan Michael Heseltine Peter Hain David Trimble Menzies Campbell Henry McLeish Alan Milburn Ken Livingstone	292 228 224 190 176 168 159 152 136 130 130 127 118 116 98 98 94 89 88 87 72 2,972

THE JUDGES' EIGHTH CABINET
Prime Minister Deputy PM Chancellor Foreign Lord Chancellor Home Education/Employm Environment Leader of Commons Culture Cabinet Office International Develop Social Security Agriculture Leader of the Lords Trade/Industry Health Regions Defence Transport Treasury Chief Sec	Charles Kennedy Tony Blair Martin Bell Henry McLeish Britney Spears David Trimble Gerry Adams Alistair Darling David Blunkett Gordon Brown Sven Eriksson Tracey Emin Michael Portillo Harriet Harman Martin Johnson Rhodri Morgan Stella McCartney Menzies Campbell Harry Potter Stephen Byers Alan Milburn	43 41 30 28 26 24 24 23 21 20 18 18 17 16 16 16 14 14 13 13 11 446

The political parties may stand charged with a shameful neglect of women during the election campaign, but no such accusation can be levelled at the judges (three men, two women) of our Fantasy Politics game. Their final cabinet, based on the cumulative scores acquired by candidates over the full eight rounds of the game, has Yvette Cooper and Harriet Harman in pole position.

The overall scores show how poorly politicians of all shades, particularly frontbenchers, have done in the campaign. The rules allow a maximum of six celebrities in the cabinet; had it not been for this restriction, 12 celebrities in all would have made it into the final team. Labour luminaries such as Peter Hain and Alan Milburn, and even Ken Livingstone, make it into the cabinet by default. The only Tories to be included are Kenneth Clarke and Michael Heseltine, neither of them frontbenchers.

In the eighth and final round, Tony Blair at last scored highly, despite his horrendous make-up. But he was beaten into second place by Charles Kennedy, who made a good impression in the last two weeks. Clare Short and Peter Mandelson both lost marks for their creepy adulation of Blair ("the person who comes closest to political perfection... among anyone I have ever met," said Mandelson). Robin Cook was marked down for an abysmal Newsnight interview in which he sounded like a parody of Rory Bremner parodying Robin Cook. Even Cooper lost marks for a bad Radio 4 interview, but they weren't enough to supplant her from the ultimate cabinet premiership that had seemed hers for several weeks. The judges could find little merit in the Tories, hard though they tried. Michael Portillo won points for being consistently talked about as William Hague's successor. The Tory leader himself would have got a bigger minus had not one kind-hearted judge awarded him points for pluck. Andrew Lansley got an even bigger minus than his leader, because the judges held him responsible for the disastrous Tory election broadcasts. As for Liam Fox, one judge admitted she had forgotten who he was (Tory health spokesman, in case you've forgotten, too). Martin Bell, reported to be gathering support in his Essex campaign to supplant another Tory, made a late run. Britney Spears is appointed Lord Chancellor in the judges' cabinet after reports that she, with other musicians, will record a CD of the Pope's prayers. Stella McCartney continued to prove her talent for grabbing the headlines by condemning the use of leather and fur on the catwalks.

Though many politicians did badly in the overall game, none performed so poorly as Richard Branson, whose Virgin Trains continued to attract negative publicity, and Richard Desmond, owner of the Express newspapers. Other turkeys included Chris Evans, whose wife, said one judge, looks a mess after just a month of marriage.

The heavy minus scores of the two spin-doctors - Alastair Campbell and Amanda Platell - reflect the almost universal verdict that the campaign was dull and uninspiring. Yet both players had their supporters: one judge praised Platell for wearing pearls, while another rated Campbell as funny and sexy, and argued that he surely deserved some credit for getting almost every national newspaper (including the Times) to endorse another Labour government.

Three Lib Dems were sent off for persistent invisibility (a serious offence in Fantasy Politics); like all red-carded players, their final scores do not count and are published only for historical interest. The same applies to three front-bench Tories, two bonus players and four celebrities.

And so to the prizes. Alex Gemmell of London SW20 won the final-round prize, but the grand prize - litre bottles of Absolut Vodka, Bulleit Bourbon, Chivas Regal 12-year-old, Reserve de Martell and Plymouth Gin - goes to Lesley Brownlee of Clayton-le-Woods, Lancashire.

Thanks to all readers who took part; to the judges (Peter Wilby, NS editor; Jackie Ashley, NS political editor; Charlie Whelan and Lauren Booth, NS columnists; and Steve Richards, the political editor of the Independent on Sunday); and to Charles Leadbeater and Ian Hargreaves, who designed the game in 1997.

One last point. The final judging round took place last Tuesday, and these pages of the New Statesman went to press on Wednesday. No account is therefore taken of subsequent events - such as an England football defeat in Greece, or a Tory general election victory.

To see the first judges' cabinet click here. To see the second judges' cabinet click here. To see the third judges' cabinet click here. To see the fourth judges' cabinet click here. To see the judges fifth cabinet click here. The judges sixth cabinet is here. And the judges seventh cabinet is here.