The picture that reveals the madness of the London housing market

A “1 bedroom studio” in Highgate Village turns out to be little more than a garage with a shower in it.

It’s well-known that the London property market has long been completely absurd, but the Highgate branch of estate agents Winkworth have now furnished us with fresh proof of its utter insanity.

They are offering a “1 bedroom studio” in Highgate Village for £250,000 (or £300 a week to rent).

Steep, yes, but sadly that's not out of the ordinary for London. That is, until you look at the picture of the flat:

It’s a garage behind another property, in which a small corner has been partitioned off to house a shower and a toilet:

The good news, though, is that there’s space to park your sports car right by the extremely wide door.

UPDATE:

According to this Evening Standard story from April 2012, there's some unusual restrictions on the property - the "new owner will only be able to spend a couple of nights a week there due to a clause in its lease." From the current Winkworth listing, it's pretty clear that it's intended as residential (it's listed as a "1 bedroom studio", after all, and has a shower installed), although the description lower down mentions that it is "a freehold, self-contained commercial unit with office use".

(H/t @MattHolehouse)

Caroline Crampton is assistant editor of the New Statesman. She writes a weekly podcast column.

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An alternative Trainspotting script for John Humphrys’ Radio 4 “Choose Life” tribute

Born chippy.

Your mole often has Radio 4’s Today programme babbling away comfortingly in the background while emerging blinking from the burrow. So imagine its horror this morning, when the BBC decided to sully this listening experience with John Humphrys doing the “Choose Life” monologue from Trainspotting.

“I chose not to choose life: I chose something else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you’ve got Radio 4?” he concluded, as a nation cringed.

Introduced as someone who has “taken issue with modernity”, Humphrys launched into the film character Renton’s iconic rant against the banality of modern life.

But Humphrys’ role as in-studio curmudgeon is neither endearing nor amusing to this mole. Often tasked with stories about modern technology and digital culture by supposedly mischievous editors, Humphrys sounds increasingly cranky and ill-informed. It doesn’t exactly make for enlightening interviews. So your mole has tampered with the script. Here’s what he should have said:

“Choose life. Choose a job and then never retire, ever. Choose a career defined by growling and scoffing. Choose crashing the pips three mornings out of five. Choose a fucking long contract. Choose interrupting your co-hosts, politicians, religious leaders and children. Choose sitting across the desk from Justin Webb at 7.20 wondering what you’re doing with your life. Choose confusion about why Thought for the Day is still a thing. Choose hogging political interviews. Choose anxiety about whether Jim Naughtie’s departure means there’s dwindling demand for grouchy old men on flagship political radio shows. Choose a staunch commitment to misunderstanding stories about video games and emoji. Choose doing those stories anyway. Choose turning on the radio and wondering why the fuck you aren’t on on a Sunday morning as well. Choose sitting on that black leather chair hosting mind-numbing spirit-crushing game shows (Mastermind). Choose going over time at the end of it all, pishing your last few seconds on needlessly combative questions, nothing more than an obstacle to that day’s editors being credited. Choose your future. Choose life . . .”

I'm a mole, innit.