A cold war is brewing to the tinkling of "Greensleeves".
Most food throughout history has been cooked by women - “but if you can’t name them, they get forgotten”.
Around the solid centre of the rice kernel, mystery builds.
When it comes to hot cross buns, I love nibbling round the chewy cross on top like an ill-mannered five-year-old.
The French see frozen food as healthy and fresh - so why does it have a downmarket reputation in Britain?
I swore I'd keep it for ever, but when I found the hideous thing in my study the other week, I followed "a different train of thought".
Although supermarkets like to claim that they only stock what their customers want to buy, in 2013 a survey suggested more than three-quarters of us aren’t too bothered by ugly veg. The problem is finding it.
OK, there are other places to buy wine but they are not the same.
Attempts to ban the liquour in Russia failed, and Britain drank 9.9 million litres of it last year. But not all vodka is created equal.
One item, included as if by way of whimsical afterthought, amuses me: a box of breakfast cereal.
I have written before in this column about how deranging chain restaurants are. This week, I want to consider another egregious example: Patisserie Valerie.
The Zombie PM