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There's something fishy in our food – or not. . .

Certain communities aside, we Britons today aren’t big fish fans. Can places like Billingsgate Market teach us to love seafood?

It’s just before dawn on a damp autumnal morning, and I’m standing in what must be the coldest building in London while a man in a hat waves a live lobster in my face. If my day has started weirdly, then I guess the poor old crustacean has it worse. The creature, a handsome American of about 40, seems unimpressed by the honour of his unexpected close encounter with Barry O’Toole, inspector of fish and shellfish at Billingsgate, Britain’s biggest inland fish market.

Around Barry and the lobster, the business of the market, which moved to its present site between the A1261 and the towers of Canary Wharf in 1982 after 900 years upstream, ebbs and flows like the river it once hugged. A trolley of polystyrene boxes, silvery tails spilling from the tops, sloshes across the shiny floor behind me, narrowly missing a Chinese grandmother scrutinising the salmon heads. Men shout and wheels squeak, phones ring out as orders are placed and couriers are booked, and, at the risk of coming across a bit Emily Thornberry, I haven’t seen so many St George flags in one place since the last World Cup.

It’s a strange, crepuscular world where the working day starts at 10pm, with the first deliveries. The processors, the men whom I see deftly filleting and gutting to the strains of Radio 2 as the sun comes up over the Barclays headquarters, get in at 1am, roughly the same time as the stock from the British coast.

The merchants themselves – the men (for they are all men; I don’t see a single woman working on the market floor, though Barry assures me they do exist) who run the 130 or so businesses that rent space at Billingsgate – are in and on the phone striking deals from 2am onwards, though until the bell rings at 4am not a single fish is allowed to leave. Four hours later the place is a sea of melting ice and discarded packaging, and in the car park a large gull pecking at a salmon carcass is the only sign of life. If you’re not there by 6am, forget it.

Given this, it’s not surprising that Billingsgate is still largely a trade haunt. I pass my local fishmonger’s van on the way in. Yet it also attracts a significant number of ordinary shoppers on the hunt for specialist ingredients, or just a bit of a bargain. A couple of Japanese students in padded jackets size up the halibut with a critical eye, and I spot an African-Caribbean couple discreetly sniffing a piece of saltfish. These are people who know what they’re looking for.

But the name you hear over and over again at Billingsgate is “China”. The boys at Mick’s Eel Supply, the market’s last remaining vendor of live eels (stored in what appears to be a giant wet filing cabinet), say the Chinese are some of their best customers though they’ve yet to catch on to the delights of the jellied variety. As Barry checks a consignment of live brown crabs on their way to the airport, I am astonished to learn that they’ll be dinner in Shanghai in a little over 24 hours. The market sent 14 million tonnes of shellfish to the People’s Republic last year and its appetite for our seafood shows no signs of slowing.

Which is perhaps lucky for the merchants of Billingsgate, because, certain communities aside, we Britons today aren’t big fish fans: the average adult consumed little more than a single portion a week last year. We’re conservative, too, the same five species of cod, haddock, tuna, salmon and prawns accounting for 75 per cent of all sales. Little wonder, when most supermarkets offer little else. C J Jackson, who runs the Seafood Training School at Billingsgate, says she hasn’t seen any change in eating habits since she wrote her first fish cookbook over 20 years ago.

It may be chilly, and blokey, and annoyingly located. But I can’t help thinking that, if everyone was lucky enough to have a Billingsgate on their doorstep, things might be quite different.

Next week: Nina Caplan on drink

Felicity Cloake is the New Statesman’s food columnist. Her latest book is The A-Z of Eating: a Flavour Map for Adventurous Cooks.

This article first appeared in the 17 November 2016 issue of the New Statesman, Trump world

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What would happen if women ruled the world?

Naomi Alderman's The Power imagines how women would behave if they, not men, were the dominant gender.

Feminism has done a thorough job of establishing the existence of sex-based inequality, but less so of explaining where this gross unfairness came from. Instead, feminist engagement with evolutionary theories has been mostly of the debunking kind: ­Simon Baron-Cohen tells us that women are adapted to nurture while men are adapted for conquest; Cordelia Fine patiently explains why this isn’t true; and everyone resumes his or her place to repeat the same debate in another five years’ time.

Naomi Alderman takes a look at this ­depressing situation, grasps the whole lot in her fist and crushes it down to a new beginning. The Power starts with a simple question: what if women got the edge? What if, somehow, nature placed a thumb on the scale so that women’s tendency to be smaller and weaker than men no longer mattered? This edge, whatever it is, would have to be more significant than physical parity, because it would have to overcome more than bodily difference: something sufficient to upturn millennia of male dominance and all the traditions that sustain it.

At the start of The Power, that something has already happened. The narrative is framed by an exchange of letters thousands of years in the future between a character called Naomi Alderman and her anagrammatic counterpart Neil Adam Armon, who pleads for patronage from an address at the “Men Writers Association”. Even that casual use of “Men” as an adjective is shocking, so unfamiliar that it feels like a breach of grammar. It isn’t, however: it’s just an ­explosion of the male default. The Power places us in a world where woman is the “one” and man is the “other”.

Neil is trying to cajole Naomi into supporting his manuscript, which tells the story of how that world was made. “I think I’d rather enjoy this ‘world run by men’ you’ve been talking about,” she tells him. “Surely a kinder, more caring and – dare I say it? – more sexy world than the one we live in.” She does dare to say it; or rather, there is no daring at all in a woman venturing her opinion and talking smuttily to a man if women have become the superior sex class. Because Naomi has something that Neil doesn’t: she has the Power.

Some time around the early 21st century, according to Neil’s research, women dev­eloped a new organ: under the skin, in the curve of a collarbone, a muscle that allowed them to deliver vicious electrical shocks and even, in the most skilled cases, to control the bodies and minds of their victims. This organ, called the skein, is a response to male violence – we first see it in action when a teenager fights back against the gangland goons sent to murder her mother – but it can also be a source of sexual pleasure. With it, women can inflict as much violence as men can with their penises, and then some. “The power to hurt is a kind of wealth,” realises Margot, an aspiring politician, as her skein starts to flicker. The question is: what would women choose to do with such riches?

If Baron-Cohen were right, the violent potential of the skein would be countered by inherent feminine gentleness. In Alderman’s imagination, no such moderating influence exists. All of the signifiers in the sexual caste system are upended: “Boys dressing as girls to seem more powerful. Girls dressing as boys to shake off the meaning of the power, or to leap on the unsuspecting, wolf in sheep’s clothing.” But what starts as cathartic retaliation – and it really is a pleasure to see women zapping gropers and rapists with a touch of their hands – becomes first gratuitous, and then a holocaust.

The slide from tweaked normality to plausible horror is realised here as perfectly as in the best of John Wyndham or Margaret Atwood. The only thing missing, perhaps, is some acknowledgement of that uniquely female ability that Atwood identified in The Handmaid’s Tale as the reason men want to possess women: the ability to make babies.

Alderman cannot tell us how we got to where we are. Yet this thrilling, spark-throwing version of the future detonates almost everything that seems normal about gender in the present. 

The Power by Naomi Alderman is published by Viking (341pp, £12.99)

Sarah Ditum is a journalist who writes regularly for the Guardian, New Statesman and others. Her website is here.

This article first appeared in the 17 November 2016 issue of the New Statesman, Trump world