Witness the trailer for Pete Dohertyâs debut film role, in which the ex-Libertine mumbles his way through his lines with the grace of a gawky sixth former desperately reciting some half-learned poetry to an uninterested crush:
Notice too how little the trailer shows of Doherty actually acting. Thereâs a reason for this, apparently. As the Guardianâs Catherine Shoard writes:
His performance as a shambling yet sensitive libertine (geddit?) in Sylvie Verheydeâs adaptation of the Alfred de Musset novel is catastrophic. Still, that does mean itâs tonally of a piece with the rest of the film.
Or the Guardianâs Peter Bradshaw (yes, the film is so bad they gave it two one-star reviews):
Itâs not exactly like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs. Itâs more like seeing one of those dogs on the TV show Thatâs Life! that could say âsausagesâ. Only instead of saying âsausagesâ, itâs saying, âYou understand, madam, that I am the greatest libertine in all Paris!â while wearing a top hat.
The Telegraphâs Robbie Collin is kinder. To the film, at least:
How much damage can one manâs performance wreak on an otherwise serviceable film? When the film is this adaptation of Alfred de Mussetâs semi-fictionalised memoir, and the man is Pete Doherty, the answer could be measured on the Richter scale.
The Hollywood Reporterâs Megan Lehmann:
The role of a beautiful and damned 19th century libertine sounds like a perfect fit for disheveled English rock poet Pete Doherty, but then thereâs the little matter of being able to act.Â
Based on his debut performance in Sylvie Verheydeâs Cannes Un Certain Regard entry, Confessions of a Child of the Century, an intolerably dull adaptation of French romanticist Alfred de Mussetâs 1830s novel of debauchery and despair, the Libertines and Babyshambles singer shouldnât even think of giving up his day job.
It must have seemed like a good idea at the time, casting the former Libertines frontman as Octave, the debauched Parisian, but the novelty soon wears off. Suffocated by Sylvie Verheydeâs lifeless direction, Dohertyâs so ill at ease youâd think his britches were too tight.
At this point, I started feeling bad for Doherty, so I tried to track down a good write-up. I couldnât. The film is currently 0 per cent âfreshâ on Rotten Tomatoes. Maybe steer clear of this one.