Friday Arts Diary

Our cultural picks for the week ahead.

Exhibition

Ellen Gallagher@AxME, Tate Modern, opens 1 May

Ellen Gallagher is one of America’s most renowned contemporary artists. Tate Modern presents the first major solo exhibition of her work in the UK. This overview provides a unique opportunity to explore her career, as well as her employment of a wide variety of media- including painting, drawing, relief, collage, print, sculpture, film and animation.

Concert

Vampire Weekend, Troxy, 2 May

Williamsburg four piece Vampire Weekend return to play a short run of UK dates, including a stop at grandiose art-deco Troxy in east London. Their infectious blend of bouncy Afrobeat and indie-pop has only grown in popularity since their formation in 2006. The band will also be headlining gigs in Portsmouth and Bournemouth in June, in advanced of their support slot for Mumford and Sons at the Olympic Park.

Theatre

A Dolls House, Royal Exchange Theatre, Manchester, 1 May- 1 June 

A new adaptation of Henrik Ibsen’s ground-breaking classic of female liberation and empowerment comes to the Royal Exchange this week. Star Cush Jumbo is reunited with director Greg Hersov following a hugely successful production of As You Like It in 2011.

TV

Vicious, ITV, premieres 29 April

This new sitcom, originally titled Vicious Old Queens, premieres on ITV on Monday. Theatrical heavyweights Ian McKellen and Derek Jacobi star as an ageing couple sharing a Covent Garden flat whose world is turned upside down by the arrival of their dashing new neighbour Ash, played by Misfits star Iwan Rheon.

Film

Stanley Kubrick’s "A Killer’s Kiss", Prince Charles Cinema, 1 May

As part of their Kubrick retrospective the Prince Charles Cinema is screening A Killer’s Kiss, Kubrick’s second feature film. Made on a budget of £40,000 which Kubrick borrowed from his uncle, the film is regarded as a telling indicator of the era-defining invention and creativity that was to come. This New York noir tells the story of a young boxer and nightclub dancer who fall in love but become caught in a web of murder and revenge.

Festival

Stratford-upon-Avon Literary festival, Straford-Upon-Avon, continues until 5 May

A mix of debate, ideas, author events and workshops, The Stratford upon Avon Literary Festival has become of the most significant literary festivals in the UK. Highlights from the programme this week include an evening with Michael Palin on 2 May and "Michael Morpurgo day" on 5 May.

Ellen Gallagher's first major solo exhibition at the Tate Modern (Photo: Getty Images)
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7 things we learned from the Comic Relief Love, Actually sequel

Even gay subtext is enough to get you killed.

After weeks of hype, the Love, Actually Comic Relief short sequel, Red Nose Day, Actually, finally aired tonight. It might not compare to Stephen’s version of events, but was exactly what you’d expect, really – the most memorable elements of each plotline recreated and recycled, with lots of jokes about the charity added in. So what did Red Nose Day, Actually actually teach us?

Andrew Lincoln’s character was always a creep

It was weird to show up outside Keira Knightley’s house in 2003, and it’s even weirder now, when you haven’t seen each other in almost a decade. Please stop.

It’s also really weird to bring your supermodel wife purely to show her off like a trophy. She doesn’t even know these people. She must be really confused. Let her go home, “Mark”.

Kate Moss is forever a great sport

Judging by the staggering number of appearances she makes at these things, Kate Moss has never said no to a charity appearance, even when she’s asked to do the most ridiculous and frankly insulting things, like pretend she would ever voluntarily have sex with “Mark”.

Self-service machines are a gift and a curse

In reality, Rowan Atkinson’s gift-wrapping enthusiast would have lasted about one hour in Sainsbury’s before being replaced by a machine.

Colin Firth’s character is an utter embarrassment, pull yourself together man

You’re a writer, Colin. You make a living out of paying attention to language and words. You’ve been married to your Portuguese-speaking wife for almost fourteen years. You learned enough to make a terrible proposal all those years ago. Are you seriously telling me you haven’t learned enough to sustain a single conversation with your family? Do you hate them? Kind of seems that way, Colin.

Even gay subtext is enough to get you killed

As Eleanor Margolis reminds us, a deleted storyline from the original Love, Actually was one in which “the resplendent Frances de la Tour plays the terminally ill partner of a “stern headmistress” with a marshmallow interior (Anne Reid).” Of course, even in deleted scenes, gay love stories can only end in death, especially in 2003. The same applies to 2017’s Red Nose Day actually. Many fans speculated that Bill Nighy’s character was in romantic love with his manager, Joe – so, reliably, Joe has met a tragic end by the time the sequel rolls around.  

Hugh Grant is a fantasy Prime Minister for 2017

Telling a predatory POTUS to fuck off despite the pressure to preserve good relations with the USA? Inspirational. No wonder he’s held on to office this long, despite only demonstrating skills of “swearing”, “possibly harassing junior staff members” and “somewhat rousing narration”.

If you get together in Christmas 2003, you will stay together forever. It’s just science.

Even if you’ve spent nearly fourteen years clinging onto public office. Even if you were a literal child when you met. Even if you hate your wife so much you refuse to learn her first language.

Now listen to the SRSLY Love, Actually special:

Anna Leszkiewicz is a pop culture writer at the New Statesman.