Poem

Please Mr Postmen

• 11 February 2002

Postcomm aims to lift Consignia's postal monopoly (With apologies to the Marvelettes and the Beatles)

Target: Nine months

• 28 January 2002

League tables are proposed for maternity hospitals. Biotechnology can create spider silk using goat's milk

The Name is Bond, Jenny Bond

• 21 January 2002

Filkin Bells

• 17 December 2001

(with apologies to James Pierpont)

Taxman

• 10 December 2001

George Harrison died. Debate continued on whether to raise taxes to fund public services

Deceiver Britannia

• 03 December 2001

Gibraltar thinks it'll be given back. Spain and Britain signed an extradition treaty (To the tune of "Y Viva Espana")

Make Mine A Double

• 26 November 2001

Ten Bin Laden lookalikes have allegedly been hired by al-Qaeda

Tony Smoking Backwards

• 19 November 2001

A Richard Billingham entry for the Turner Prize is the video Tony Smoking Backwards. Tony Blair is said to be exhausted by war diplomacy

Sun, Sand and Specs

• 12 November 2001

Tony Blair was named 2001 Spectacle and Sunglass Wearer of the Year

She Cooks

• 05 November 2001

(A propos David Blunkett's proposals for citizenship tests, a Times leader reminded readers that US immigrants must read or write sentences such as "She cooks for her friends")