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I have not a gram of rock'n'roll in me

  • 20 November 2006
  • 4 comments

I am a potterer, a flâneur. I am brilliant at it, quite brilliant. I am encouraged in this by Hackney Council, which makes public transport so horrendous

Tory, Tory, Tory and the television truth

  • 13 November 2006

His eyes glistened as he talked about the blue revolution. These were Maggie's soldiers, fighting for her on the barricades

For real danger, try the LWT studios

  • 06 November 2006

It is time to accept that part of what is happening in Iraq is a civil war. The government's writ doesn't run much beyond the US zone in Baghdad

Who could resist the "Ying Tong Song"

  • 30 October 2006

A cry roars forth from a Mercedes. It's Simon Schama. We swing into Fifties mode and Perry Como impressions and the vaudeville barely stops until we reach the studio

"Oi, what's wiv the kiss in the text?"

  • 23 October 2006

Texting bores me: I can't be bothered with the twiddling or the false intimacies. But at least this keeps me out of danger

My day with Dave and the dead

  • 16 October 2006

Halfway through my talk to the Conservative party conference, I began to suspect that the audience had died . . .

Does my beard bother the Miu Miu bag lady?

  • 09 October 2006

My wife says I lose my sense of humour in airports. If true, this is because I am concentrating too hard on controlling my nerves

In Guantanamo, one man is living the life of a king

  • 02 October 2006

I have seen as much credible evidence of Sami being a terrorist as I have seen of the Loch Ness Monster. Correction. I have seen slightly more evidence of the Loch Ness Monster

Maybe I could be Gordon's cleaner?

  • 25 September 2006
  • 1 comment

I start dreaming of a cabinet to serve Gordon Brown: Diane Abbott, Martin Amis, Damon Albarn, Harold Pinter, Victoria Wood, Mark E Smith, Charles Kennedy, Dennis Skinner, myself and Michael Portillo . . .

Dear Ken, here's a goodwill salt-beef bagel

  • 18 September 2006

With Mayor Livingstone now so keen to be seen as a friend of the Jewish community, perhaps it is time to send him a personal invitation. Or two - in case he wants to bring his friend Sheikh al-Qaradawi

Green heroes

The top ten

20 green heroes and villains: Heroes

Green villains

The top ten

20 green heroes and villains: Villains

What if...

Hugh Gaitskell lived

What if... Hugh Gaitskell had lived

James Macintyre

Brown at war

Like it or not, Brown’s a war leader

Will Self

On brands

We’re all with the brand

Interview

Omar Bin Laden

The NS Interview: Omar Bin Laden

Bjorn Lomborg

Cloud control

Cloud control

Film review

A Serious Man

A Serious Man (15)

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