Coca-cola sucks Christmas into its terrifying maw

The ADgenda: This week's most alarming advert.

It must get a bit dull being the world's leading brand. No need for inventive or expensive advertising campaigns when the product you're touting is quaffed by the bucketload by a significant proportion of the world's population. Consequently, Coke has plumped for world domination, focusing their advertising efforts on strong-arming the few remaining stragglers who haven't embraced their sugary world view.

So it is that everyone's hotly anticipated festive moment - the Coke ad - has taken a decidedly creepy turn. A determined Father Christmas stomps through the snow, slapping a note on a mysterious giant present that reads "For those who don't believe". We cut to a drab cityscape, with a lone girl chugging on a Coke bottle only to be interrupted by a thump outside the window - run to look outside and there's a massive present nestling in the snow. The ribbons fall off and inside sits a giant puppet Father Christmas, who pulls off his restraints and rears up to his full terrifying height.

Serving as a reminder of Coke's pervasive presence the world over Father Cokemas stalks the streets winking knowingly at all the non-believers. He's got your number.

Things were already taking a sinister turn when Christmas was heralded by a fleet of honking lorries breaking the idyllic quiet of a snow-scene while a creepy choir chanted "Holidays are coming". But such was the potency of the sugary stuff that this did nothing to dissuade the global population with Coke sales maintaining their constant high and head office fielding calls from disgruntled customers clamouring for the return of the seasonal ad when it briefly left our screens for a couple of years - for them, Christmas wasn't Christmas without the brown stuff.  In the 21st century Coke IS christmas, HGVs and all. Are you one of the non-believers? Father Cokemas is coming to get you…

WTF? Photograph: Getty Images
GETTY
Show Hide image

The NS Podcast #176: Younge, guns and identity politics

The New Statesman podcast.

Helen and Stephen are joined by author and editor-at-large for the Guardian, Gary Younge, to discuss the findings of his new book: Another Day in the Death of America.

Seven kids die every day from gun violence in the US yet very few make the national news. Is there any way to stop Americans becoming inured to the bloodshed? The enraging, incredibly sad and sometimes peculiarly funny stories of ten kids on one unremarkable Saturday attempt to change that trend.

(Helen Lewis, Stephen Bush, Gary Younge).

You can subscribe to the podcast through iTunes here or with this RSS feed: http://rss.acast.com/newstatesman, or listen using the player below.

Want to give us feedback on our podcast, or have an idea for something we should cover?

Visit newstatesman.com/podcast for more details and how to contact us.