Firing the fired

"You're Fired": apprentice regurgitated

For a show with a fairly simple premise – people trying to sell things – The Apprentice includes a fair whack of self scrutiny. We’ve got Alan Sugar weighing the contestants up, we’ve got contestants weighing themselves up (“I’m the reflection of perfection”), we’ve got a portentous voiceover throughout the show, and we’ve got a camera which forces us to hate everyone in it.

But it’s not enough to have an episode cut into bite-sized pieces, or even auto-digested: now it’s regurgitated in front of a live audience as a comedian sorts through the vomit with a novelty toothpick. This last bit is called “The Apprentice: You're Fired”.

The BBC2 spin-off is a "friendly" retrospective discussion in which the hapless contestant gets ripped to shreds all over again, only this time he has to pretend he's enjoying himself.  It looks like an odd experience for him, similar to a parent-teacher evening or perhaps a visit to a consortium of therapists. He’s so utterly the most powerless person there, and everyone talks over him, about him, trying to work out “what went wrong”. He's the butt of all the jokes – often much sharper than Alan Sugar’s put downs – but can’t fight his corner like he can in the boardroom, only grin sheepishly.

The worst thing, though, is that they’re not even all professional, legitimately superior business people. Half are amateurs or comedians (although they all wear suits). This leads to cutesy-mean, completely unanswerable remarks, like Jenny Éclair’s whimsical observation to fired contestant Michael:

"I don't know much about business, but I think sometimes, maybe, getting the taste right for a sauce is quite important."

Thanks Jenny, good to get a fresh opinion.

Last week the parent/teacher evening theme was carried further with a head boy-like contribution from Tom Pellereau, the previous Apprentice winner. In sharp contrast to the hapless Michael, he’s “doing really well”, a shining example to everyone: cue sage approval from the panel. Depressed, Michael gives up trying to get the conversation onto equal terms. The familiar therapy/school speech rhythms get to him, and he starts to apologise.

"I agree, I wasn't tough enough. I didn't fight my corner"

That's ok, Michael, that's ok. They gracefully accept his apology. They make more jokes. They look slightly uncomfortable. He gets a free toy at the end. It's actually very entertaining.

Dara: probably evil, Getty images

Martha Gill writes the weekly Irrational Animals column. You can follow her on Twitter here: @Martha_Gill.

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Donald Trump promises quick Brexit trade deal - but the pound still falls

The incoming President was talking to cast out Brexiteer, Michael Gove. 

The incoming President, Donald Trump, told the Brexiteer Michael Gove he would come up with a UK-US trade deal that was "good for both sides".

The man who styled himself "Mr Brexit" praised the vote in an interview for The Times

His belief that Britain is "doing great" is in marked contrast to the warning of current President, Barack Obama, that Brexit would put the country "at the back of the queue" for trade deals.

But while Brexiteers may be chuffed to have a friend in the White House, the markets think somewhat differently.

Over the past few days, reports emerged that the Prime Minister, Theresa May, is to outline plans for a "hard Brexit" with no guaranteed access to the single market in a speech on Tuesday.

The pound slipped to its lowest level against the dollar in three months, below $1.20, before creeping up slightly on Monday.

Nigel Green, founder and chief executive of the financial planners deVere Group, said on Friday: "A hard Brexit can be expected to significantly change the financial landscape. As such, people should start preparing for the shifting environment sooner rather than later."

It's hard to know the exact economic impact of Brexit, because Brexit - officially leaving the EU - hasn't happened yet. Brexiteers like Gove have attacked "experts" who they claim are simply talking down the economy. It is true that because of the slump in sterling, Britain's most international companies in the FTSE 100 are thriving. 

But the more that the government is forced to explain what it is hoping for, the better sense traders have of whether it will involve staying in the single market. And it seems that whatever the President-Elect says, they're not buying it.


 

 

Julia Rampen is the editor of The Staggers, The New Statesman's online rolling politics blog. She was previously deputy editor at Mirror Money Online and has worked as a financial journalist for several trade magazines.