What I'd be playing if I weren't going to Glastonbury

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As it's Glastonbury this weekend it means I don't have a radio show to do. Someone in a similar position may regard this as a good opportunity to take a break, but for me it means I have a week's worth of records I don't know what to do with.

I guess this is where having a blog comes in handy.

I would have opened the show with Electric Wire Hustle - "Again (Scratch 22 remix)" which features on K7 records' new DJ Kicks album, compiled by the Motor City Drum Ensemble. There are no two ways of putting this; it is deep house and normally the sort of thing I'd hate but it is frankly sexy as hell and it would have made for a great opener.

Electric Wire Hustle - Again (Scratch 22 Remix) by Scratch22  

To show I wasn't turning into a deep house kind of guy I would have then stuck on Maria and the Mirrors - "Travel Sex" to restore my cool. MATM are from East London and are very East London. I saw them play live a couple of years ago and they were awful, really awful; they looked interesting and weren't. Their new EP, though, is really good; noisy as hell and the kind of thing I wish British bands would make more often, a welcome escape from indie schmindie windy. Listen to it here.

At the end I would have left you with "Sabbath Moon" by MsTrS, off their new album Acid Witch Mountain, a film score to a movie that doesn't exist. It will leave you scared, while I jump into a cab to a fashionable East London venue that I won't be let into.

Sabbath Moon (mastered version) by MsTrS 

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Elusive sharks, magic carpets, and other summer radio highlights

American singer Beth Ditto on BBC 6 Music is hands down the guest presenter of the season.

A trio of things to divert us as we drift into the dog days: the Norwegian non-fiction hit Shark Drunk makes a perfectly dreamlike Book of the Week (BBC Radio 4, weekdays, 9.45am). Its author, Morten Strøksnes, navigates the waters around the Lofoten Islands looking for a Greenland shark, a highly elusive and languorous creature that can reach 200 years in age and has fluorescent-green parasites covering its milky, sad eyes.

Strøksnes is frequently distracted by the strange summer beauty of the islands. Like a naive hero in a dark-edged John Bauer illustration, he is helplessly drawn to their tiny shores, wandering through forests of rowan dripping with chlorophyll or sitting among a species of pretty yellow flower with a fragrance that has earned it the label “arse-wiper gut grass”. Oh, happy picnics!

Then, to a discussion about the “saucy bits” in One Thousand and One Nights on the BBC World Service’s The Forum (1 August, 9am). Dipping into the massive, ancient Indian/Persian collection of stories about flying carpets and genies reminds me a little of surfing the web – it’s a book that contains so many voices. Such a mixture of moralising and immoral behaviour and tall tales. On and on it goes. (The title in Arabic, Alfu Laylatin wa-Laylah, means “endless”.)

How about this? “The porter saw a girl with eyes like a wild heifer, a neck like a cake for eating and a mouth like the sea of Solomon.” A neck like a cake for eating. Phenomenal lines rush past in a gleefully gurgling whoosh, like water let out of the bath.

Finally, hands down the guest presenter of the summer is the American singer Beth Ditto, with her two-hour stint on BBC 6 Music (28 July, 7pm). Clicking her fingers, speaking with a wink, never short of a compassionate anecdote, Ditto has a unique knack of introing a song as good as Planningtorock’s “Living It Out” by increasingly raising her voice as the music starts thrumming beneath, and then louder still, like someone with her hand on the door of a holiday-island nightclub, excitedly shouting instructions at you before everybody bursts in, minus several flip-flops, and heads straight for the bar.

Antonia Quirke is an author and journalist. She is a presenter on The Film Programme and Pick of the Week (Radio 4) and Film 2015 and The One Show (BBC 1). She writes a column on radio for the New Statesman.

This article first appeared in the 27 July 2017 issue of the New Statesman, Summer double issue