Morning Call: pick of the papers

The ten must-read pieces from this morning's papers.

1. Massacres are the inevitable result of foreign occupation (Guardian)

The latest slaughter in Afghanistan is part of a decade of savage civilian killing: until Nato leaves, it is certain to continue, says Seumas Milne.

2. This is the age of the 'Start the War' march (Times) (£)

The Kony 2012 campaign is easy to mock, but it shows that there is no longer such a thing as a faraway country, says Daniel Finkelstein.

3. Americans seem to be spending again - that's good news for us all (Independent)

Cameron goes to a country that is showing, week by week, more pluses than minuses on the economic front, says Hamish McRae.

4. How to be a better steward of our assets (Financial Times)

Britain has allowed ownership to become too monolithic, writes Will Hutton.

5. Sorry Cameron, but Air Force One is no place for a British prime minister (Guardian)

While David Cameron enjoys some portentous posing in Obama's jet, mice gnaw at the fabric of his government, writes Simon Jenkins.

6. Words alone won't uphold marriage (Daily Mail)

The Tories' long-promised tax allowances for married couples seem no closer to materialising, notes a Daily Mail editorial.

7. Our folly is to think of houses as dreams, not places to live in (Independent)

Some people think that if they made money through their home they earned it, writes Christina Patterson.

8. The European court of human rights needs these British reforms (Guardian)

The Strasbourg court is in a mess, says Anthony Lester. It doesn't help human rights to damn our eminently sensible reforms as reactionary.

9. A patched-up peace is all we can hope for (Daily Mail)

Once the coalition forces are out, Afghanistan will revert to its normal form of regional conflict, the northern tribes in rivalry with southern, says Andrew Alexander.

10. Nigel Lawson, Terry Jones and the attraction of the older man (Daily Telegraph)

To a woman 'with a history of dating older men', the mature alpha male has a certain allure, writes Petronella Wyatt.

Show Hide image

Appreciate the full horror of Nigel Farage's pro-Trump speech

The former Ukip leader has appeared at a Donald Trump rally. It went exactly as you would expect.

It is with a heavy heart that I must announce Nigel Farage is at it again.

The on-again, off-again Ukip leader and current Member of the European Parliament has appeared at a Donald Trump rally to lend his support to the presidential candidate.

It was, predictably, distressing.

Farage started by telling his American audience why they, like he, should be positive.

"I come to you from the United Kingdom"

Okay, good start. Undeniably true.

"– with a message of hope –

Again, probably quite true.

Image: Clearly hopeful (Wikipedia Screenshot)

– and optimism.”

Ah.

Image: Nigel Farage in front of a poster showing immigrants who are definitely not European (Getty)

He continues: “If the little people, if the real people–”

Wait, what?

Why is Trump nodding sagely at this?

The little people?

Image: It's a plane with the name Trump on it (Wikimedia Commons)

THE LITTLE PEOPLE?

Image: It's the word Trump on the side of a skyscraper I can't cope with this (Pixel)

THE ONLY LITTLE PERSON CLOSE TO TRUMP IS RIDING A MASSIVE STUFFED LION

Image: I don't even know what to tell you. It's Trump and his wife and a child riding a stuffed lion. 

IN A PENTHOUSE

A PENTHOUSE WHICH LOOKS LIKE LIBERACE WAS LET LOOSE WITH THE GILT ON DAY FIVE OF A PARTICULARLY BAD BENDER

Image: So much gold. Just gold, everywhere.

HIS WIFE HAS SO MANY BAGS SHE HAS TO EMPLOY A BAG MAN TO CARRY THEM

Image: I did not even know there were so many styles of Louis Vuitton, and my dentists has a lot of old copies of Vogue.

Anyway. Back to Farage, who is telling the little people that they can win "against the forces of global corporatism".

 

Image: Aaaaarggghhhh (Wikipedia Screenshot)

Ugh. Okay. What next? Oh god, he's telling them they can have a Brexit moment.

“... you can beat Washington...”

“... if enough decent people...”

“...are prepared to stand up against the establishment”

Image: A screenshot from Donald Trump's Wikipedia page.

I think I need a lie down.

Watch the full clip here:

Stephanie Boland is digital assistant at the New Statesman. She tweets at @stephanieboland