Bored with economic ills? Let's use the Samoan solution

Simply scrap 2012 and move to 2013 where things can only get better.

As both Labour and the Tories squabble over the way ahead for Britain in 2012, neither seems to have considered the Samoan solution. This is a once in a lifetime panacea for all economic ills, available, like those sale bargains, for one day only.

Because it straddles the International Date Line, Samoa has the option of looking either east or west for its time. Concerned that it was out of kilter with its main market, Australia, the tiny Pacific island has come up with a unique solution.

To align its time with its main trading partners, Samoa, along with neighbouring Tokelau, has scrapped today -- December 30. When the citizens of Samoa went to bed yesterday it was Thursday, and when they woke up it was Saturday. Geordie drinkers of Newcastle Brown Ale will know the feeling, but this time there is no headache or embarrassing memories (unless of course you are a Geordie in Samoa). But we digress.

The Samoan solution, once applied to world economics, releases us from the pro- and anti-Keynsian debate of now into a new world of simple solutions to present problems.

Ed Miliband and his alter Ed --- the other one -- are ending this year as they began it: in the doo-doo. It is said that apart from leading the nation into a chorus of "Always Look On The Brightside", they have nothing to offer.

But if they seize the Samoan solution, then they have. Simply scrap 2012 and move to 2013 where things can only get better.

Some might argue this is a nonsense approach to economics -- but then, have you read the alternatives?

 

Peter McHugh is the former Director of Programmes at GMTV and Chief Executive Officer of Quiddity Productions.

 

Peter McHugh is the former Director of Programmes at GMTV and Chief Executive Officer of Quiddity Productions

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Can Philip Hammond save the Conservatives from public anger at their DUP deal?

The Chancellor has the wriggle room to get close to the DUP's spending increase – but emotion matters more than facts in politics.

The magic money tree exists, and it is growing in Northern Ireland. That’s the attack line that Labour will throw at Theresa May in the wake of her £1bn deal with the DUP to keep her party in office.

It’s worth noting that while £1bn is a big deal in terms of Northern Ireland’s budget – just a touch under £10bn in 2016/17 – as far as the total expenditure of the British government goes, it’s peanuts.

The British government spent £778bn last year – we’re talking about spending an amount of money in Northern Ireland over the course of two years that the NHS loses in pen theft over the course of one in England. To match the increase in relative terms, you’d be looking at a £35bn increase in spending.

But, of course, political arguments are about gut instinct rather than actual numbers. The perception that the streets of Antrim are being paved by gold while the public realm in England, Scotland and Wales falls into disrepair is a real danger to the Conservatives.

But the good news for them is that last year Philip Hammond tweaked his targets to give himself greater headroom in case of a Brexit shock. Now the Tories have experienced a shock of a different kind – a Corbyn shock. That shock was partly due to the Labour leader’s good campaign and May’s bad campaign, but it was also powered by anger at cuts to schools and anger among NHS workers at Jeremy Hunt’s stewardship of the NHS. Conservative MPs have already made it clear to May that the party must not go to the country again while defending cuts to school spending.

Hammond can get to slightly under that £35bn and still stick to his targets. That will mean that the DUP still get to rave about their higher-than-average increase, while avoiding another election in which cuts to schools are front-and-centre. But whether that deprives Labour of their “cuts for you, but not for them” attack line is another question entirely. 

Stephen Bush is special correspondent at the New Statesman. His daily briefing, Morning Call, provides a quick and essential guide to domestic and global politics.

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