"See ya later, ex dictator": a year in Twitmericks

"There was an old man from the Nile / Of odious crocodile smile"

Among all the year end reviews, here's something a little bit different. Mick Hodgkin has been tweeting the news each day in the form of a limerick - and naturally within the 140 word character limit.

Mick is a programme editor for Al Jazeera, a former colleague, an Arsenal fan (oh, yes) and clearly a talented and dedicated limerick writer. Here's a selection -- and there are more over here. Happy New Year!

 

SEE YA LATER, EX-DICTATOR
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -
There was an old man from the Nile
Of odious crocodile smile
But as every dictator
Should sooner or later
Mubarak is now standing trial.

 

MOBILE HACKERS CAUGHT BY THE KNACKERS
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -
News International's Rebekah
Ended up as a newspaper wrecker
A media vandal
At fault in the scandal
But so were those failing to check 'er.

 

LIAM FOX TAKES SOME KNOCKS
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --
Pseudo Fox aide Adam Werritty
Acted the part with dexterity
But it takes cash to fly
Every month to Dubai
So who was behind his prosperity?

 

SEPP BLATTER, MAD AS A HATTER?
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -
That funny old man Mr Blatter
Says racist abuse doesn't matter
Shake hands, it's a game
Nobody's to blame
But fans want his head on a platter.

 

 

Jon Bernstein, former deputy editor of New Statesman, is a digital strategist and editor. He tweets @Jon_Bernstein. 

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Piers Morgan struggles with the idea that anyone might ever refuse an opportunity to go on television

The Good Morning Britain host has contradictory beef with Ewan McGregor.

Has it been a while since you heard what Piers Morgan thinks? Are you shaking from withdrawal, refreshing your Twitter feed, unsure whether Kanye is or isn’t a narcissist? Well, fear not, the Mole has a fresh fix for you. After Ewan McGregor dropped out of appearing on Good Morning Britain today, a new take was born. Actors’ opinions are stupid, but also, actors should come on Piers Morgan's show and talk about their not-important views.

McGregor, who was meant to be promoting Trainspotting T2 on the show, tweeted this morning he had cancelled because of Piers’ (obviously half-baked) opinions on the Women’s March. “Was going on Good Morning Britain, didn't realise @piersmorgan was host,” McGregor wrote. “Won't go on with him after his comments about #WomensMarch.”

What truthbomb had Piers dropped to provoke this? That it was unfair women were protesting and where was the MEN'S march. A march for men! As if running our parliament, corporate system, legal industry and creative sector isn’t enough! They should probably all do a walk too! Poor men. No wonder the patriarchy is on its last legs. They must be so weary.

Still, hats off to Piers Morgan. It takes a real personal flexibility to maintain the title of Contrarian Extraordinaire of the Our Glorious Nation. By which we mean that Piers Morgan will think literally anything, if the money is right. Whether it’s writing that Kim Kardashian is so awful she caused someone to have a stroke, or that he loves her for being herself, the man is so darn unpredictable. 

Morgan accused McGregor of being "just an actor", and that he should be “big enough to allow people different political opinions”. Once again, he asked the age-old question: are you an enemy of free speech if you won't go on someone’s early morning television show? This might be alien to Piers, but people don't have to go on television if they don't want to. 

And what if Ewan had appeared on the show chatting about his film? “Happy to appear on my show for your film, but not happy with my opinions? Classic money-driven actor,” the inevitable Morgan tweet would have read. It's quite easy, this Piers Morgan lark. No, it isn't. Yes it is. Cheque please! 

I'm a mole, innit.