The Staggers

The New Statesman’s rolling politics blog

PMQs sketch: Grilled Miliband followed sautéed Clegg

The PM could not believe how he has gone from zero to hero without any planning.

By Peter McHugh Published 14 December 2011 18:45

Unemployment in the UK fell by one this morning when the Deputy Prime Minister came out of hiding and returned to his main job of being the present most people don't want for Christmas.

That is not to say he was not welcomed at the final Prime Ministers Questions of the year, since MPs on all sides of the house were more than happy to snack on him before heading off for more fulsome seasonal fare.

Indeed the volume of the welcome following his decision to go on the run just 48 hours ago might have been pleasing had he not noticed the increased sound was coming from the knives being sharpened all around him.

So it was unsurprising that as he finally took his traditional place next to the Prime Minister he kept looking nervously about him. But he need not have worried because sautéed Clegg had been taken off the menu to be replaced by grilled Miliband.

It had not meant to be this way following Dave's Churchillian gesture last Friday to everyone without a UK passport. Even on Monday, with Nick Clegg cowering under his desk, Ed M and his advisors thought they were heading into the Christmas recess with the Coalition in disarray and its leadership daggers drawn over Europe.

But what they had not counted on was the pulling power of power itself, and that insults could fly and feet could be stamped but not stamped out of office.

What they also had not counted on was the public's support for Dave's two fingers to everything foreign. As PMQs began it was clear that Tory MPs were pleased enough to eat themselves never mind Nick Clegg and they were more than happy to add Ed M to the menu.

The Prime Minister ,who cannot believe how he has gone from zero to hero without any planning ,was equally at home in a place where so often he has had to resort to decibels rather than debate to get him through the half hour. Indeed so confident was he that his minder Chancellor George took time out to move down the Government front bench for a bit of pre-Christmas gossip with Cabinet colleagues.

With the worst unemployment figures for 17 years the Labour leader was on relatively safe ground as he reminded the PM that his Christmas message a year ago had been about jobs ."What went wrong? "he said.

In PMQs past Dave's collar would already been tightening around his neck producing those wonderful autumnal hues so associated with an out-of-depth Prime Minister.

But there was none of that today as he turned to his now adoring back benchers and announced he would not take any lectures from Labour.

And then Ed turned to Europe. On the surface the clash between Lib-Dems and Tories in the Coalition over Europe would appear to be rich pickings for Labour. But this assumes that Labour has a position on Europe that is both agreed and popular and neither of these are true. Indeed the whole sub-text of today's PMQs could be found in two opinion polls published this morning which were carried out AFTER Cameron wielded his veto.

Both polls put the Tories two points ahead of Labour for the first time since December 2010 and show majority support for the PM over Europe. Even though they were never raised the existence of these extra elephants were enough to un-nerve Ed and give Dave a rare win. As Labour slumped and Lib-Dems slumped further the PM looked as if he would lick himself if he could. There is a real poll going on today in the Feltham and Heston constituency just west of London where Labour is defending a 4000 majority from the general election.

Nineteen months into this parliament with record unemployment, the worst economic crisis for 80 years and at loggerheads with Europe, Dave should be up to his throat in it leaving Ed with the rewards.

Watch this space.

Peter McHugh is the former Director of Programmes at GMTV and Chief Executive Officer of Quiddity Productions.

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Tags: PMQs

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15 comments

Thu, 2011-12-15 14:15 — matthew fox (not verified)

Come on Luddite, there are still nine ranting days before Christmas, you will be worn out by Saturday.

Something still wrong with your caps lock button Luddite, won't technical support at Fisher Price comeback to you?

The EEC, Luddite, do you mean the EC. The EEC was renamed in 1993, didn't you get the memo Luddite?

You fear the democratic process Luddite, you can't work out how to vote.

Every election, he turns up at the polling station, they hand him a ballot paper and he has to make his excuses and leave.

But to be fair to him, he did once try to vote by Post, but the Electoral Commission invalidated it, he had used a postcard as a ballot paper, and wrote in crayon an ode to Mrs T.

Chin up Luddite.

Thu, 2011-12-15 14:17 — Freeman2

Lady J writes, 'On a day when unemployment is the highest in 17 years, you choose this day to attack Ed Miliband.'

I don't know if you've ever considered this Lady J, but it is quite possible to be against the government's unemployment creation policy AND aware of Ed's inadequacy.

Thu, 2011-12-15 14:20 — Freeman2

Luddite writes, 'What is it about the democratic process they fear so much?'

I imagine your love of the 'democratic process' doesn't stretch to democracy at work.

Thu, 2011-12-15 15:03 — Stuart Eels (not verified)

The thing is Freeman, it's not just Ed Miliband is it? How can a Shadow Chancellor be more unpopular than George Osborne? by being Ed Balls, sad the Labour Party may wake up intime for the next election.

Wed, 2011-12-14 20:18 — Hugh Markey (not verified)

Are we being dense? This is a Gordon Brown moment in the electoral cycle! Victory for the Tories appears to be assured: a dead certainty. Yet Cameron is hesitant.
All of the True Brits or Little Englanders behind him - in a good sense not in a panto sense - and Cameron cannot summon up the blue-blood coursing through his upper-set veins.
Does Cameron want to down in infamy as the Tory PM who bottled out of a challenge when all the signs are his party can win.
Nigel 'Col Blimp' Farage and his UKIP squaddies must be wetting themselves at the thought of Cameron making a decisive move against Johnny Foreigner. Let's see just how hard Cameron is!
Only problem we can see is that by ditching the Liberal fagging element from government the Tories will have no 'fall guy' on tap.

Ours not to reason why!

Wed, 2011-12-14 20:52 — Pete F (not verified)

Peter you say "...support for Dave's two fingers to everything foreign."
This is a basic mistake of the left. It's not EVERYTHING foreign, or indeed everything European. It's specifically the EU. Got it? That organisation that hasn't had its accounts signed off since....well, some time ago.
Sloppy comments like this just betray how little journos know about the attitude of many to the EU. Europe fine; EU rubbish. Got it?

Wed, 2011-12-14 21:24 — David Lindsay

It is Wednesday afternoon again, so certain websites are showing the same CCHQ posts as every week, complete with the on-cue comments from CCHQ interns. But you do realise, don’t you, that almost no one watches PMQs? It has absolutely nothing to do with serious politics, being held purely for the entertainment of the Press Gallery. And it is held at the very middle point of the working week. For those, that is, who are still fortunate enough to have jobs.

A few polls putting the other side level or slightly ahead, after a very unusual week and for the first time this year. Plus arguably a lacklustre performance at a parliamentary event which hardly anyone watches. So what? We know the answer to that one: under no circumstance must there be a viable non-Blairite option at a General Election. The removal of IDS, entirely on television, made no difference to the 2005 Election from his party’s point of view. But that was never what it was about.

David Miliband’s surname is the only thing that prevents the expulsion of him and of his tiny but noisy party within the party. It should protect him and them no longer. A motion or amendment on, say, the EU, or Iran, should be enough to smoke them out.

Wed, 2011-12-14 22:15 — Jim K (not verified)

Cut and paste again eh David Lindsay. Weak, even by your standards,

Thu, 2011-12-15 00:33 — Lady J (not verified)

SHAME, SHAME,SHAME on you McHugh .

On a day when unemployment is the highest in 17 years, you choose this day to attack Ed Miliband. Instead of holding David Cameron to task for acting like a typical Bullingdon Clun, Nasty Tory by using a family member; even if he is an MP, To ansewr a question on our future in Europe, you instead allow Newsnight, well known for their editorial bias towards the Tories to attack Ed Miliband.

Apart from one Nasty Tory moment and a lot os noise, please tell us how Dave won. I always feel like I am watching a different PMQ when I read the inevitable Brainwashing articles from the media.

David Cameron will never win an election in this country. Regardless of what the YouCon (YouGov) polls say, Wales, Scotlans and N. Ireland will never give him enough seats; Ed Miliband polls higher on being in touch with the people and on honesty. I trust the British public.

Thu, 2011-12-15 01:16 — David Lindsay

If Labour wins the Feltham and Heston by-election, then it will be the fifth such victory in succession since Ed Miliband became Leader.

The EU referendum motion was, as I explained at the time, the wrong motion. But it was the motion that there was, and the following Labour MPs voted for it: Ronnie Campbell, Rosie Cooper, Jeremy Corbyn, Jon Cruddas, John Cryer, Ian Davidson, Natascha Engel, Frank Field, Roger Godsiff, Kate Hoey, Kelvin Hopkins, Steve McCabe, John McDonnell, Austin Mitchell, Dennis Skinner, Andrew Smith, Graham Stringer, Gisela Stuart, Mike Wood.

Although himself as far as possible from the Hard Left, Frank Field had previously nominated John McDonnell for Leader. As had the Countryside Alliance’s Kate Hoey. As had Ronnie Campbell, together with his constituency neighbour Ian Lavery, the two Labour MPs, being half of all the MPs, from the second most rural county in England; Campbell is a pro-life Catholic. And as had Ian Davidson, a Co-operative stalwart who on the floor of the House has correctly identified New Labourites as “Maoists and Trotskyists”, and who, as befits a protégé of Janey Buchan, is a hammer both of Scottish separatism and of European federalism.

Those on either or both of those lists, together with as many other Labour MPs as possible, should immediately make it clear, without the slightest room for doubt, that they would resign the Whip if the present media attempt to stage a Blairite coup against Ed Miliband were to be successful. From all sections of Labour apart from the Blairite aliens, the new party of which they would be the embryo could easily expect to hold the balance of power after 2015, when Labour would not win under a Blairite Leader, whereas it would under Ed Miliband.

Thu, 2011-12-15 01:20 — Politico (not verified)

Ed You are really a nice guy. For once listen to concerns of hardworking people. Scrap your mandate for new generation renewal and get real people at the heart of the shadow cabinet. Reeves, Ummunna, twigg are simply not the future and have not got it. They do not appeal to the genaral public. Stop hand picking puppets. Revanp and rethink required

Thu, 2011-12-15 06:51 — Philip Hall1

We shouldn't begrudge David his moment in the sunshine, and the joke about he and Clegg not being brothers was funny.

It won't last though. As the EU implodes and Britain's prospects implode with it, the smile will fade as 2012 unfolds.

Thu, 2011-12-15 07:49 — Luddite (not verified)

David Milliband got himself called a traitor on the shop-floor yesterday one lad on the CNC went as far as calling for Milliband to by hanged. I said “that was way over the top” but many didn't!! There no love for the EEC in working class communities and all hate the fucking French. So what’s Milliband playing at? Trying to score political points!! It’s not working, you ally yourself to the French and you’ll cut no ice with anyone. It's time to call that referendum and give what most demand full withdrawal from European Union and before some deluded pro-little European farts-off LET'S HAVE A FREE VOTE!! What is it about the democratic process they fear so much?

Thu, 2011-12-15 10:26 — Stu (not verified)

The Eurozone is about to implode as Luddite pointed out. Cameron wins! as you see the Tory party knew this all along, it didn't matter which way Dave would go, so why not take it head on, protect the british interest, win those votes and be the hard man.

Ed has no chance, his party would sign-up to a dud deal and it would still implode, thats their stance. They've made themselves look weak and a lack of conviction of what they would have done will bite them on the ass at every moment the Eurozone cracks. Labour have no credible policies or leadership. But I want Ed to stay as leader as it will only be advantageous to the tories.

Happy Christmas Labour.