The political elite should represent different lifestyles

This blogger thinks that Ed Miliband should have stood proud in his decision to live out of wedlock.

This blogger thinks that Ed Miliband should have stood proud in his decision to live out of wedlock. Do you agree?

Today Ed Miliband became a husband. What a waste, I mourn, and for reasons other than his geek bachelor charm. I toyed with the idea it was my duty to stop it, the ceremony being only a bus ride from my house.

One last-ditch race to the hotel (not a church, at least . . . thank God) and things could have been so different, as the registrar asked if anyone "knew a reason" why they shouldn't wed. "Yes me!" I should have cried. "Because you don't need to, because you said you didn't want to, and because there are many of your electorate who feel the same."

When the newly elected Ed became the first British party leader to live with his family outside of marriage, he suddenly became a rather more attractive catch. In a refreshing demonstration of progression and free thought, Ed and Justine were swapping matrimony for happy cohabitation and ignoring the multiple media outlets that criticised them for the act.

Ed turned down Christine Bleakley's kind offer of proposing to his partner live on air, and to the traditionalists it was tacitly explained that commitment didn't come with a piece of paper and all women weren't pining for a diamond ring. It was all going so well – until they got engaged.

Faced with enough public scrutiny, two adults who had been sharing their lives with a home and children were now making the "real" commitment of institutionalism and legal documentation. For me, a love affair that had started so promisingly was quickly turning sour. Under the spotlight of the right-wing press, before Ed knew it, the personal had become the political. Far from being the time to rush to the altar, this was the time to stand proud.

Marriage is a valid option in life, but there are several fine alternatives, as Miliband had the chance to show. A woman doesn't need to have her man's baby to prove she loves him, and he doesn't need to get down on one knee.

There are different models of relationships in modern Britain, a range of choices to be had, and these are not things to be ashamed of, not values to brush quietly to one side. They are, rather, lifestyles that vast portions of the citizenry choose daily, and choices the political elite should have the strength to represent. In saying "I do" to his partner today, Ed looked at the electorate and said: "I don't."

Frances Ryan is a freelance writer and political researcher at the University of Nottingham.

Frances Ryan is a journalist and political researcher. She writes regularly for the Guardian, New Statesman, and others on disability, feminism, and most areas of equality you throw at her. She has a doctorate in inequality in education. Her website is here.

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The campaign to keep Britain in Europe must be based on hope, not fear

Together we can show the world a generous, outward-facing Britain we can all be proud of.

Today the Liberal Democrats launched our national campaign to keep Britain in Europe. With the polls showing the outcome of this referendum is on a knife-edge, our party is determined to play a decisive role in this once in a generation fight. This will not be an easy campaign. But it is one we will relish as the UK's most outward-looking and internationalist party. Together in Europe the UK has delivered peace, created the world’s largest free trade area and given the British people the opportunity to live, work and travel freely across the continent. Now is the time to build on these achievements, not throw them all away.

Already we are hearing fear-mongering from both sides in this heated debate. On the one hand, Ukip and the feuding Leave campaigns have shamelessly seized on the events in Cologne at New Year to claim that British women will be at risk if the UK stays in Europe. On the other, David Cameron claims that the refugees he derides as a "bunch of migrants" in Calais will all descend on the other side of the Channel the minute Britain leaves the EU. The British public deserve better than this. Rather than constant mud-slinging and politicising of the world's biggest humanitarian crisis since the Second World War, we need a frank and honest debate about what is really at stake. Most importantly this should be a positive campaign, one that is fought on hope and not on fear. As we have a seen in Scotland, a referendum won through scare tactics alone risks winning the battle but losing the war.

The voice of business and civil society, from scientists and the police to environmental charities, have a crucial role to play in explaining how being in the EU benefits the British economy and enhances people's everyday lives. All those who believe in Britain's EU membership must not be afraid to speak out and make the positive case why being in Europe makes us more prosperous, stable and secure. Because at its heart this debate is not just about facts and figures, it is about what kind of country we want to be.

The Leave campaigns cannot agree what they believe in. Some want the UK to be an offshore, deregulated tax haven, others advocate a protectionist, mean-hearted country that shuts it doors to the world. As with so many populist movements, from Putin to Trump, they are defined not by what they are for but what they are against. Their failure to come up with a credible vision for our country's future is not patriotic, it is irresponsible.

This leaves the field open to put forward a united vision of Britain's place in Europe and the world. Liberal Democrats are clear what we believe in: an open, inclusive and tolerant nation that stands tall in the world and doesn't hide from it. We are not uncritical of the EU's institutions. Indeed as Liberals, we fiercely believe that power must be devolved to the lowest possible level, empowering communities and individuals wherever possible to make decisions for themselves. But we recognise that staying in Europe is the best way to find the solutions to the problems that don't stop at borders, rather than leaving them to our children and grandchildren. We believe Britain must put itself at the heart of our continent's future and shape a more effective and more accountable Europe, focused on responding to major global challenges we face.

Together in Europe we can build a strong and prosperous future, from pioneering research into life-saving new medicines to tackling climate change and fighting international crime. Together we can provide hope for the desperate and spread the peace we now take for granted to the rest of the world. And together we can show the world a generous, outward-facing Britain we can all be proud of. So if you agree then join the Liberal Democrat campaign today, to remain in together, and to stand up for the type of Britain you think we should be.