Steven Baxter

Patrolling the murkier waters of the mainstream media

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Listen to Kelvin. You don’t need to learn about journalism to be a journalist

I can’t do 100 words a minute shorthand, have never sat through a council meeting or done a death kn

Agreeing with Kelvin MacKenzie makes me angry. I wince as I type these words. But here it is: he's right about something.

I don't agree with MacKenzie about a lot of things, or really anything most of the time. When he turns up on Question Time, as he regularly does, I end up having to instal a brick-proof screen in front of the TV. But when I read his article of last week saying that you don't need to learn about journalism to be a journalist, I found myself nodding in agreement. And then feeling horrible about myself, as if I'd just French-kissed a putrid badger. But there it is: I can't help it.

I speak as someone who not only did one of those much-derided media studies degrees at one of those unloved former polytechnics, but also managed to sneak into a career in journalism without doing the required training. (A career that never really scaled any giddy heights and which will soon be shunted off into the Jobcentre Plus via a small cheque and a "Thank you very much for all the hard work", but a career nevertheless.) So I can see it from both sides, I suppose.

I can't do 100 words a minute shorthand, have never sat through a council meeting or done a death knock, and have never written anything, ever, about Oxdown school. In short, I am a fraud. Or am I? I think it depends on what you see journalism as being.

If you're going to be doing court cases, it makes sense to get some practice in and know what you're doing, read the law books and all that; if you're going to be interviewing footballers for a living, it's a waste of everyone's time. What kind of journalist do you want to be? What skills are you going to need?

Don't get me wrong, many of my best friends are journos and all of that. It's just that I think that their skills have shone out because of their talents and hard work, not necessarily because of their training. Compared to those of many other professions, the qualifications to enter journalism are not spectacularly strong, being just one series of tests that people do once. Often there is no ongoing professional training or development.

Yet that's apparently enough to see you through a 30- or 40-year career, if you're lucky. I've seen enough brilliantly qualified numpties and enough kids on work experience who managed to "get it" within minutes to make me wonder.

The problem, I think, is that journalism is not a profession or a trade, but rather, as Hunter S Thompson so memorably put it, "a cheap catch-all for fuckoffs and misfits". As Kurt Vonnegut said of the writing trades, "They allow mediocre people who are patient and industrious to revise their stupidity, to edit themselves into something like intelligence.

"They also allow lunatics to seem saner than sane."

Which sounds about right to me, as a patient and industrious but ultimately mediocre person. We're all just trying to edit ourselves into something like intelligence with every article we write, with every set of words we put on the page. One day, we hope, we might get there. I know I do.

16 comments

swatantra's picture

McKenzie is probably right. There is a new breed of 'Citizen Journalists' on the scene who are more spontaneous and sparkling in their method, and will probably replace the desk bound traditional journalist, in the same way as Wapping abolished old fashioned print.

Churba's picture

You're right, Keri. Reporters are stenographers, and they do write what they are told.

And that's the difference between a Reporter and a Journalist, in under 25 words.

Keri's picture

Reporters are stenographers, they write what they are told.

nubber's picture

You don't need to learn about journalism if your job in the 'trade' is waffling, or, as in the case of MacKenzie and so many others nowadays, venting largely abusive tripe.
Learning about how to sift, research and assess events to report them in an impartial or at least trustworthy manner is a different matter. Then again, those journalists who are real reporters don't make headlines for and about themselves. This reflects the trivialization of news, the rise of punditry and, yes, of sports 'journalism'. All posing as serious news work that is of (heresy alert) public value.
Perhaps what is needed is education not in simply how to write, but also in what journalism is, could be, and how truly shite it is right now.

Hans Castorp's picture

I don't see how this squares with the patent need to regulate the industry (at least in print)

RJD's picture

Amen to this. If Melanie Phillips can call herself a journalist then I'm prepared to nominate Gaddafi for a Pulitzer Prize for his work on the Green Book.

jie4v7i14's picture

As an aside, on comment infested sites like this, there might be co-joined comments leading to a point, by ahem!?! sophisticated commenters of moderm times. harrumph. Anyone got a trumprt to lend?

I like NS, I really do. Just posted this on Alastair Campbell, the great actress when at finishing school years ago (front left by the way) from east coast US, and her speaking french on US telly in '86. I like this girl, in time, a lot, Gene Tierney,
http://www.life.com/image/3238374
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R0YBwdDMvaA

jie4v7i14's picture

France telly in '86 even, without the soap adverts...

Mr. Divine's picture

You've made it there Stephen. You're in journalistic heaven. Crack open the champagne. Now what you gonna do?

If you're interested in semantics and editing why don't you study semantics? Try Natural Semantic Metalanguage a 'philosophy' which says we can express all our thoughts and feelings down to just 24 'core' words. Write something using NSM .. and if you do I bet you can't edit it.

Mr. Divine's picture

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Natural_semantic_metalanguage

I'm a past star student of Anna's at the ANU.

Henry Plamm's picture

egreeign with Kelvin kemakenzie is like having a giant squid wrapping its tentacle ony your face and shriiking!! i Have worke for the daily espress for twelv years and never learned shothand or wresle a sex dwarf!!

last year's girl's picture

I skipped my 120wpm shorthand exam to go to a gig. I technically have my 80wpm, but since I haven't used it in my... six years? of (admittedly mostly legal/business journalism) it would take me so long to figure out what squiggles I was supposed to use I'd be as well quitting and going home.

Herbert's picture

Mackenzie is, of course, right on this (though on little else). His father Ian - bless his soul - was news editor on the old South London Observer and did his best to teach me the job (yes, it's a job) day in and day out. As Mack says, you learn more in a month with someone like that than three years on a degree course.

jie4v7i14's picture

Kelvin McKenzie? sheez. wall to wall crap he comes out with.

If he started to speak to me, as the normal way he speaks to anyone, I'll smack him, no two ways about it.

Can't stand the cant.

Suzanne's picture

Sheesh, you don't need to be knowledgeable in much to be plenty of things these days. (Says the girl working on a second Master's.) Writing degrees are taught as "certificate" courses in Florida. Nothing mind bending there.

http://www.thetalesofmissusp.com

jie4v7i14's picture

Hillsborough 1989? Give it a rest fella. Have this,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3_PFJMRn72I

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