Follow that rabbit, Monsieur Sarkozy!

Despite all the gloom, there’s still humour to be found in the WikiLeaks revelations.

As the WikiLeaks storm continues, much focus is on the negative aspects of such a colossal breach of security. Secret cables revealing human rights abuses or the possibility of violence in North Korea (to give two examples) reinforce the narrative that the whole world is a dreadful place teetering on the brink of chaos.

Why can't we just, for once, enjoy the ridiculous and the absurd? Thanks to the French president, Nicolas Sarkozy – subject of a number of US embassy cables – we can. The revelations range from the mundane (the Saudis thought he was badly mannered) to the sinister (he apparently was an authoritarian who struck fear into his own advisers). One cable, however, that stood out above all the others was the despatch that featured this passage:

Sarkozy was clearly happy – and proud – to be in the company of his young son [Louis] and seemed tickled to be able to introduce him to "the ambassador of the United States". Louis appeared at the threshold with a small dog at his feet and a large rabbit in his arms. To shake hands with the ambassador, Louis put down the rabbit – and the dog started chasing the rabbit through Sarkozy's office, which led to the unforgettable sight of Sarkozy, bent over, chasing the dog through the anteroom to his office as the dog chased the rabbit.

Is that not the most ludicrously amusing image? You can practically hear the music of Benny Hill accompanying such a fiasco. "Allons-y, lapin!"

Photo: Getty
Show Hide image

Who will win in Manchester Gorton?

Will Labour lose in Manchester Gorton?

The death of Gerald Kaufman will trigger a by-election in his Manchester Gorton seat, which has been Labour-held since 1935.

Coming so soon after the disappointing results in Copeland – where the seat was lost to the Tories – and Stoke – where the party lost vote share – some overly excitable commentators are talking up the possibility of an upset in the Manchester seat.

But Gorton is very different to Stoke-on-Trent and to Copeland. The Labour lead is 56 points, compared to 16.5 points in Stoke-on-Trent and 6.5 points in Copeland. (As I’ve written before and will doubtless write again, it’s much more instructive to talk about vote share rather than vote numbers in British elections. Most of the country tends to vote in the same way even if they vote at different volumes.)

That 47 per cent of the seat's residents come from a non-white background and that the Labour party holds every council seat in the constituency only adds to the party's strong position here. 

But that doesn’t mean that there is no interest to be had in the contest at all. That the seat voted heavily to remain in the European Union – around 65 per cent according to Chris Hanretty’s estimates – will provide a glimmer of hope to the Liberal Democrats that they can finish a strong second, as they did consistently from 1992 to 2010, before slumping to fifth in 2015.

How they do in second place will inform how jittery Labour MPs with smaller majorities and a history of Liberal Democrat activity are about Labour’s embrace of Brexit.

They also have a narrow chance of becoming competitive should Labour’s selection turn acrimonious. The seat has been in special measures since 2004, which means the selection will be run by the party’s national executive committee, though several local candidates are tipped to run, with Afzal Khan,  a local MEP, and Julie Reid, a local councillor, both expected to run for the vacant seats.

It’s highly unlikely but if the selection occurs in a way that irritates the local party or provokes serious local in-fighting, you can just about see how the Liberal Democrats give everyone a surprise. But it’s about as likely as the United States men landing on Mars any time soon – plausible, but far-fetched. 

Stephen Bush is special correspondent at the New Statesman. His daily briefing, Morning Call, provides a quick and essential guide to British politics.