CommentPlus: pick of the papers

The ten must-read pieces from this morning’s papers.

1. The coalition doesn't want to heal Britain's broken leg, but amputate it (Guardian)

Gary Younge says the left must show this for the elective surgery it is: cuts born of ideology, in which the many pay for a crisis created by the rich.

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2. Women on top? You've got to be joking (Independent)

For at least 20 years, says Mary Ann Sieghart, we have been fed the line that the "future is female". But the future has always failed to materialise.

3. Let's face it, not all of us have an inner tycoon (Times)

Unemployed graduates should start their own businesses, according to David Willetts. But, as Libby Purves points out, not every bright, skilled and hardworking person is business-savvy.

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4. Obama has angered the centre and the left (Financial Times)

The economy is struggling and the US president's political judgement is at fault, argues Clive Crook -- he disappointed the left by not going far enough, but alienated the centre by apologising to the left, rather than repudiating it.

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5. Obama's untold story (Guardian)

Barack Obama's problems stem from the 9.5 per cent US unemployment rate, says Michael Tomasky. But Democrats are failing to convey effectively to voters that their efforts have actually made the economy stronger.

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6. Illiteracy is bad for us -- so why don't we do something about it? (Daily Telegraph)

The best way to teach reading and writing must be settled once and for all, says Boris Johnson, who discusses the merits of the phonics system.

7. Let the ocean's "oil-eaters" do their work (Times)

Matt Ridley looks at the BP disaster, and previous oil disasters, concluding that the environmental threats that matter are the slow, continuous ones, not the telegenic sensations.

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8. A bunch of mediocre wastrels (Independent)

Yasmin Alibhai-Brown argues for the abolition of the monarchy, wrong in practice and principle. It binds the British people and their institutions into dependency and voluntary subservience.

9. Back to square one in Afghanistan (Guardian)

A recent poll of 500 men in Afghanistan showed that 65 per cent believe Mullah Omar should join the government. Afghans know full well what their future holds, says Peter Preston -- and it doesn't involve us.

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10. Why the battle is joined over tightening (Financial Times)

To tighten or not to tighten? Martin Wolf runs through the main arguments, both from those who vehemently oppose government deficits, and from those who believe fiscal tightening should be postponed.

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Commons Confidential: Dave's picnic with Dacre

Revenge is a dish best served cold from a wicker hamper.

Sulking David Cameron can’t forgive the Daily Mail editor, Paul Dacre, for his role in his downfall. The unrelenting hostility of the self-appointed voice of Middle England to the Remain cause felt pivotal to the defeat. So, what a glorious coincidence it was that they found themselves picnicking a couple of motors apart before England beat Scotland at Twickenham. My snout recalled Cameron studiously peering in the opposite direction. On Dacre’s face was the smile of an assassin. Revenge is a dish best served cold from a wicker hamper.

The good news is that since Jeremy Corbyn let Theresa May off the Budget hook at Prime Minister’s Questions, most of his MPs no longer hate him. The bad news is that many now openly express their pity. It is whispered that Corbyn’s office made it clear that he didn’t wish to sit next to Tony Blair at the unveiling of the Iraq and Afghanistan war memorial in London. His desire for distance was probably reciprocated, as Comrade Corbyn wanted Brigadier Blair to be charged with war crimes. Fighting old battles is easier than beating the Tories.

Brexit is a ticket to travel. The Independent Parliamentary Standards Authority is lifting its three-trip cap on funded journeys to Europe for MPs. The idea of paying for as many cross-Channel visits as a politician can enjoy reminds me of Denis MacShane. Under the old limits, he ended up in the clink for fiddling accounts to fund his Continental missionary work. If the new rule was applied retrospectively, perhaps the former Labour minister should be entitled to get his seat back and compensation?

The word in Ukip is that Paul Nuttall, OBE VC KG – the ridiculed former Premier League professional footballer and England 1966 World Cup winner – has cold feet after his Stoke mauling about standing in a by-election in Leigh (assuming that Andy Burnham is elected mayor of Greater Manchester in May). The electorate already knows his Walter Mitty act too well.

A senior Labour MP, who demanded anonymity, revealed that she had received a letter after Leicester’s Keith Vaz paid men to entertain him. Vaz had posed as Jim the washing machine man. Why, asked the complainant, wasn’t this second job listed in the register of members’ interests? She’s avoiding writing a reply.

Years ago, this column unearthed and ridiculed the early journalism of George Osborne, who must be the least qualified newspaper editor in history. The cabinet lackey Ben “Selwyn” Gummer’s feeble intervention in the Osborne debate has put him on our radar. We are now watching him and will be reporting back. My snouts are already unearthing interesting information.

Kevin Maguire is the associate editor (politics) of the Daily Mirror

Kevin Maguire is Associate Editor (Politics) on the Daily Mirror and author of our Commons Confidential column on the high politics and low life in Westminster. An award-winning journalist, he is in frequent demand on television and radio and co-authored a book on great parliamentary scandals. He was formerly Chief Reporter on the Guardian and Labour Correspondent on the Daily Telegraph.

This article first appeared in the 23 March 2017 issue of the New Statesman, Trump's permanent revolution